


Spirit & Shadows

by recurring_dreams



Category: The 100 (TV), Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Commander Lexa, F/F, F/M, Guardian Lexa, I'm Bad At Tagging, I’ll add tags as I go, Princess Clarke, Slow Burn, Vampire AU, Vampire Clarke Griffin, Vampires, sort of vampire lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:23:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17862917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recurring_dreams/pseuds/recurring_dreams
Summary: Clarke has finally been caught after a year on the run, and now she’s been sent to St Vladimirs’s academy until she graduates in another years time. She’s not just any Moroi vampire though, she’s a princess of one of the twelve royal families, and secrets and shadows follow her everywhere.Lexa is a Dhampir. She’s been training since she could walk to protect Moroi, and she’s good. One of the best in fact. And she’s got a year left of school until she graduates and becomes a full time guardian. But secrets and shadows lurk in her past, Will they be enough to stop her?OrThe vampire academy au no one asked for. Don’t worry, you don’t need to have read the books or seen the movie to understand to story. I just used the same world and it will all be explained anyway.I update weekly at least x





	1. St Vladmir’s Academy

**Author's Note:**

> I’m actually so excited for this ahhh  
> For those of you who haven’t read the books/seen the movie:  
> Moroi = good vampires who still live off blood but don’t kill. Possess the ability to do magic in one element- either fire, water, air, earth or spirit. They live the lifespan to humans and are born Moroi.  
> Dhampir = half vampire, half human. Have to have one Moroi parent and one Dhampir or human parent.  
> Strigoi = bad vampire who kills for sport and are stronger, faster and more ruthless than Moroi or dhampirs. They are immortal and are made, not born.

She had been so careful. How had they found her? Or was she just being paranoid? He had been following her down three blocks now, even as she was about to make a full circle. The thought of shouting for help crossed her mind but she knew that would get her nowhere. They had found her. This was it. 

He had emerged from the shadows of the alley, across from the all-night cafe Clarke had been sat in. It was almost 11pm and she barely noticed him appear, her eyes blurry from staring at her laptop screen for hours. She may be a Moroi - and a royal at that - but she still had assignments due and essays to write. He had swiftly stalked her down the street, either not very good at spying or not caring if she knew. It was too late anyway. She couldn’t fight back. 

He was dressed in all black, broad shoulders bulging from his shirt. A long beard hung from his chin down to his chest and swirling lines of black ink covered the right side of his face. He was a Dhampir, alright. Half vampire, half human - and here to catch her. Streetlights shone pools of yellow onto the street below but shadows still lurked against buildings and in alleyways. Clarke knew that any one of them could hide one of his friends. 

Just ahead of her, another figure stepped out. She was small and slight, but her stance was anything but friendly. Clarke couldn’t make out the expression on her face but she could almost feel the stern glare boring into her skin. They had her rounder up and trapped. The woman ahead strode slowly towards her, obviously hoping that Clarke would see there was no point in putting up a fight. And Clarke did know that, of course, but she wasn’t going to give up her freedom - and her safety - that easily. She crossed the street, if only to put the smallest of distances between her and the two Dhampirs in the hope it would give her time to formulate a plan. Could she try compulsion? It was too dangerous though, and she probably couldn’t even get close enough to look them in the eye. They had probably been warned of be unique powers anyway. Not to mention Clarke hadn’t eaten in days and hadn’t used her magic in almost a year. The Dhampir guardians had gotten close to catching her more than once this past year she had been free, but never this close. Clarke wondered how she had messed up, how she had led them to her. Maybe it was pure bad luck. Clarke doubted that. She knew that they were highly trained. 

They followed her across the street as a third one materialised from the shadows. He too boasted a long beard, but the sides of his head were shaven and dark tattoos adorned both sides of his face. All three of them pursued her, stalking like animals towards their prey. She couldn’t see any weapons on them but didn’t doubt they all held concealed swords and steaks at the ready. Clarke could see no way out. This was it. Her freedom would be taken forever. 

She backed up, her back brushing against the brick wall of a building. She glanced down at her tattered trainers, wondering if taking them off would allow her to run faster. It wouldn’t be fast enough. Slowly, she raised her head to stare them in the eyes. If she was going to go, she was going to go with her dignity still in tact. It was what she had been raised to do, after all - stand proud and tall, put on a show and no one will know if you’re weak inside. She took a step forward, only a few feet away from her pursuers now. Finally, she raised her hands and with one last goodbye to her ordinary life, she silently allowed them to take her. 

***

It was a long drive to St Vladimir’s Academy. She knew it was in the absolute middle of nowhere, but still, Clarke felt like she had been cramped up in the car for days. Since her capture, she had learnt of her fate now her freedom was gone. She had also learnt the names of her so-called captors (or, she guessed, her temporary guardians) - Nyko, Indra and Gustus. They weren’t very talkative, to say the least. She suspected they all had better things they wished to do than return a runaway princess. After all, they were just doing their job, but that didn’t stop Clarke resenting them for being so good at it. She glanced sideways where Indra sat, her back straight and eyes grazing over the horizon on alert. Clarke could see the molnija marks on the back of her neck. Nine. Indra had killed nine Strigoi. That was more than Clarke had ever heard of. At least Clarke had time to process what Indra had succinctly informed her of. 

A year of being on the run from her own family - and court - she had finally been caught, and instead of returning to her home to court, she was being dragged to an academy in the middle of nowhere until she graduated. And by the middle of nowhere, she means literally surrounded by fields and woods and mountains for miles and miles around. Fun. Clarke had her reasons for running, and it’s not like she planned on staying hidden forever, but just until she knew it was safe. It hadn’t been safe before, and her father was proof of that. Clarke knew running away had been the only solution to stop her fate from taking the same path as her father’s. 

The car rolled along an extensive stony driveway, bumping up and down enough to make Clarke feel like she was going to throw up. She longed to roll down the window, feel the fresh air on her face as the moonlight shimmered in the sky. She would miss the sun, Clarke released. She had adjusted to living in the day with humans, enjoyed the calm breeze in her hair and even the sun’s rays warming her body for not too long. At the very least being able to enjoy the light from a distance inside. Not anymore though, not at St Vladimir’s. The joys of being a vampire. And going to a vampire school, where she would now be on a nocturnal schedule so the students didn’t have to be in the sun. For Moroi, being in the sun for more than ten minutes caused their skin to turn irritable, and ten minutes after that it would burn. And not how human skin burned in sunlight, but rather large blisters boiling on the top layer of skin. It wasn’t very pleasant. Clarke knew she would have to adapt once again to live as a creature of the night. 

Finally, they reached a towering iron gate, a large crest emboldened in the centre. They were met by two other Dhampirs (both as scarily huge as Gustus and Nyko) who, after a few exchanged whispers from Gustus, opened the gates to let them through. Clarke could practically feel driving through the countless wards that surrounded and protected the academy’s ground. She couldn’t help but gasp as the buildings came into sight over the fields. The stately red brick buildings looked both ancient and brand new. They were lit up by beaming yellow lights placed along the building, casting beautiful yet eerie glows across the entire school. To the right stood dozens of training grounds from grass to AstroTurf to stone bathed in blinding floodlights. On her left were towering trees weaving in and out to create a path to beautiful gardens, dainty fairy lights scattered in the trees. In the distance, she could make out a smaller grounds with playgrounds and brightly coloured walls - the junior school Clarke thought. 

The car pulled up in front of the main building. Hundreds of students milled about, walking in the double doors or waiting outside for friends. Clarke leaned forward to check the time on the radio clock. 4:56 am, just in time for dinner. Clarke groaned, silently cursing that she now had to make her first public appearance in a year in front of an entire canteen full of gossiping students. She knew the rumours that had probably followed her disappearance; a disgraced pregnancy, becoming a Strigoi, or maybe even just a spoilt little princess who had a fight with her mother. Her mother had probably pushed for the last one, thinking it would bring the least amount of shame onto the family. It was, after all, her reputation on the line more than Clarke’s. 

The tinted windows of the black SUV provided Clarke with her last moment of peace. She stared out of the window, already analysing the dynamics of the groups of students ahead of her. Nyko got out of the front of the car and opened her door, the cool early morning breeze hitting her in the face. She took a deep breath before accepting Nyko’s hand and clumping our the car. A man stood in the entryway obviously awaiting her arrival. He was quite tall, with a greying beard and wearing a plain black shirt. He donned no marks - a Moroi, Clarke realised, before it clicked how she recognised him. Prince Marcus Kane, the Crown Prince of the Kane family and one of the ten eligible heirs to the thrown. And judging by the stern yet sympathetic look in his eyes, he was also the principle of the academy. 

“Princess, I’m glad to see you made it here safely,” he stepped towards, inclining his head, “I’m Principle Kane, we’ve met at court a few times.”

Clarke simply nodded her head, unsure about what to say. She knew that Kane had moved away from court and rumours had followed that he had no intention of taking part in the next royal election despite his status. Any ruling member of any of the twelve royal Moroi families are eligible heirs to the thrown unless their own ruling member was the previous monarch. Clarke came from just one of those families, and her mother was the leader of their house. The monarch ruled until their death or abdication, and at the moment King Jaha reigned over all Moroi and Dhampirs. 

Speaking of Jaha, Kane continued “since it’s dinner, I’ve arranged for someone to take you straight to the canteen to eat and then to show you to your room. I’ll meet with you in the morning to discuss your schedule, once your rested,” Kane finished, before turning to face a boy stood in the doorway of the building. “Wells,” he called, “this is Clarke Griffin, I believe you’ve met-“ he was cut off as Clarke shrieked and ran towards the boy, arms widening to encompass him. 

Wells - caught off guard by the very sudden yet not unwelcome embrace - almost toppled over, leaning against the side to stabilise them. He squeezed her back, delighted to have his best friend again. Despite him moving away from court when he was 12 after his father enrolled him at St Vladimir’s, they had kept in touch and seen each other every summer. Clarke was distraught when she concluded that she couldn’t even try to contact him after she ran away, but she failed to register the fact that he would be here when she was found. 

After a hug that went on almost a bit too long, they broke apart, both beaming. He led her threw the double doors and down the hallway into the bustling canteen. Students sat at dozens of circular tables, or stood in one of two queues. It was clear that one was for Dhampirs and one for Moroi; the Dhampirs only ate human food whilst Moroi tended to have a mixture of food and blood in their diet. Clarke’s stomach grumbled. She had gotten by on the run through her powers of compulsion to drink enough blood to make humans feel slightly dizzy. This was helped by the fact she usually targeted teens at parties where the effect of alcohol easily covered her tracks. She wasn’t used to this; a clean, white dining hall with cups of whatever type of blood she wanted. 

As they entered the hall, the buzzing died down. It was like a domino effect - one person turned to look at her, then another, then another. She suddenly had hundreds of pairs of eyes staring solely at her. It was overwhelming to say the least. She stood for a second, head held high and eyes blazing, as if daring someone to call her out. Wells handled it with an air of calm and collectedness, placing a hand in her back to guide her swiftly over to a table at the back. They joined a group of about seven others, all of them politely looking away from Clarke. It only took a few seconds for the silence to erupt into whispers upon whispers surrounding them. Clarke tried not to listen, and failed. 

Before she could sink into a tiny ball of anxiousness, Wells introduced her to the rest of the group. They were all Moroi too, and Clarke even recognised a few from court. She figured Wells would hang around with other royals and high status students, but being introduced to the Blake siblings was a surprise. One of the only laws that applied to Moroi royals was that each couple was only allowed to bare one child, to ensure the legitimacy and conserve the rarity of royals. It was highly regarded, and after Princess Aurora Blake broke this sacred law, she was shunned by her family. As a consequence to this law, Octavia is not recognise as a royal and neither her nor her brother could enter the royal elections. It was also quietly ruled that Octavia was not allowed any children of her own, to preserve the Blake family line. Clarke’s heart silently broke for the girl who’s fate was decided before she could even talk. 

Among the rest of the group included Prince Monty Green, as well as a few nobles Clarke had heard of. Raven was considered like a daughter to Prince Sinclair, and Jasper and Harper she recognised from influential families that often visited court. She did not recognise a sullen boy named Murphy, who did little more than roll his eyes as they were all introduced. Save for that, they all seemed friendly enough for the knot in Clarke’s stomach to loosen slightly. She nodded to them each, flashing a smile before planting herself in a chair next to Wells. They seemed to catch on that Clarke really wasn’t in the mood for talking, and instead carried on their conversation as normal. Clarke gratefully accepted a cup of blood Wells brought for her. She zoned in and out of the conversation, only catching enough to comprehend that they were arguing whether or not Jasper had a shot with a girl who sat on the table two away from their’s. It was primarily everyone against Jasper, with the occasional support from Monty. 

Clarke was suddenly back at school with humans, chatting like any teenagers. It was strange to think they were a whole other species. She supposed Dhampirs were too, but closer to Moroi than humans. St Vladimir’s was an academy for both Moroi and Dhampirs, unusual as they learnt very different things. All Moroi are gifted in one of the five elemental magics; water, fire, earth, wind and the very rare spirit. Clarke was one of the very few spirit users in the entire world, and - once trained - able to use compulsion, dream walk, see auras and heal people. Moroi students focused on harnessing their magic as well as learning academics. Wealthy Moroi families from all over the world sent their children to St Vladmir’s to not only learn how to emasculately control their powers but to be educated in science, history and politics. Dhamphirs, however, are each gifted in heightened speed, strength and senses, and most train ruthlessly as guardians to protect Moroi. Moroi learn very little if any self defence, and rely heavily on Dhampirs to protect them against Strigoi. It took five good Dhampirs to take down just one bad Strigoi. Clarke knew that, as a royal, she would be assigned a guardian, if not two, after she graduates that will follow her everywhere, for every minute of everyday. Strigoi had been waging a war against Moroi since the beginning of history, and they likes to target royals more than anything. They were rogue, usually working alone work in small groups but still deadlier than Moroi and Dhampirs. She almost felt bad for Dhampirs, but it is their job to protect and many feel a high sense of duty to fulfil it. But it’s always been this way, Moroi ruling and superior, with Dhampirs giving their lives to protect the Moroi. It’s the main thing Dhampirs are taught - Moroi lives come before their own. After all, because Dhampirs are unable to have children together, they rely on Moroi to keep their race going. Still, Clarke couldn’t stand the idea of having someone by her side 24/7. 

As the laughter died down from Jasper’s defeat, Clarke noticed a boy sauntering over to their table. His brown hair hung in waves and he wore a slightly more cocky than confident expression. At the sight of him, Raven let out a low groan that matched Octavia’s glare. 

“Hey Princess,” he smirked, using the title to mock Clarke rather than respect her. “I’m Finn. Finn Collins. Just thought I’d come welcome you to St Vlad’s myself, let you know there’s always a place at our table for you,” he winked.  
“Just back of Finn, there’s no need,” Wells practically growled.  
“Hey I’m just being friendly, God knows the little Princess here needs friends.”  
“Leave, Finn,” Octavia snarled, and the same time Raven began, “she’s not gonna be one of your little things, you can forget it. Just go.”  
“Well why don’t you let her decided instead of lying to her about me?” Finn placed his hand in Clarke’s should, squeezing it.  
“Get off her,” Wells said lowly, raising out of his chair.  
“What’s your problem?” Finn asked, but did remove his hand. Clarke was extremely confused about to whole thing. She could sense the air of tension but had no idea why the group hates Finn or why Finn was obviously provoking them.  
“Our problem?” It was Bellamy who jumped out his chair now. He stalked around the table to Finn, leaning into his face to say, “you know damn well what the problem is. So like they told you, leave. Now.” He pushed lightly at the other boy’s chest.  
“Don’t touch me,” Finn snapped, stepping up to Bellamy. Clarke could see what was about to happen. Had seen it countless times in her human school. Fights break out, people get hurt and expelled. She just didn’t know what it meant when Moroi were involved though, especially a royal. 

Suddenly, a voice rang through the room. It was high and clear, commanding. Warning them to stop. It took Clarke a moment to locate the source of the voice that seemed to bounce off the walls. She expected a teacher, a Moroi by the authority of her voice. It was also clear the respect it instigated, from the way Finn and Bellamy stopped (even if they did not back down entirely). 

“No one wants a fight in the middle of the canteen. Take it outside or back off, both of you. Now.” A girl stepped forward, emerald eyes blazing yet holding an air of calm around her. Her chin was held high and long brunette hair was carefully woven into dozens of tiny little braids, the rest falling into waves along her side. She stood tall and still from where she had been eating at a table on the other side of the room, and Clarke wondered inwardly how she had sensed the impending fight from such a distance before it could even blow up. The boys seemed to hear this, Bellamy stepping away after shooting another glare at Finn. He was silently thankful the fight had not started - he was comfortable in his abilities to beat Finn but the possible consequence of suspension or even expulsion were too high. 

Clarke stared over at the mysterious girl. After the tension seemed to die down, the girl gracefully sat again, her posture straight and her eyes still trained on Finn as he left the room. Her face was almost bored, apart from the hint of a glare in her eyes that shot threats to do as she said. Her eyebrows arched ever so slightly, and she scanned the room once more. Her eyes caught Clarke’s briefly. Clarke’s heart leaped in the chest before she broke eye contact. 

“Who is that girl?” Clarke asked.  
“Who, Lexa? She’s a Dhampir in our year,” Wells replied.  
“Kind of a badass, and everyone knows it,” Octavia jumped in, her face not hiding her admiration for the girl.  
“All high and mighty, if you're asking me. She’s got a bigger ego than half the Moroi here. And that’s saying something,” Murphy grumbled.  
“Oh, shut up Murphy. Just because you know she could kick your ass any day and would not hesitate,” Octavia countered, then more quietly, “and you know what she’s been through, she deserves the respect she gets more than any Moroi here.”  
“Been through what?” Clarke asked, still as confused as before. Octavia looked guilty for bringing it up, her eyes quickly flashing over to the girl - Lexa.  
“It doesn’t matter,” Wells shook his head, “Come on, we’ll all walk you to the dorms. You’ll be on the same floor as Octavia, Raven and Harper.” 

He stood, nodding to the exit of the canteen. They all followed, Clarke secretly quite excited to sleep for the rest of the day. She was still on human schedule, and she wouldn’t even be waking up yet if she was still in the city. Before she walked out the door, she turned back to glimpse at the girl one more time. She was more than a bit surprised to find jade eyes already looking at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry this chapter was kind of filled with developing and explaining the world, just wanted to make it clear for anyone who hasn’t read/watched vampire academy. I promise the next chapter we’ll dive into Lexa’s character more as well as the others.  
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated! Also comment if you’d prefer Bellamy and Echo, and Raven and Anya or Bellamy and Raven because I’m struggling ahhh x


	2. Twilight & Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang hang out and Clarke talks to Lexa for the first time

“I can’t believe they actually think we sparkle,” Bellamy groaned, complaining not for the first time about tonight’s movie choice. 

“I’d rather that than burn. Remember that one summer in court where we begged mum to stay out after sunrise and within ten minutes my arms were completely raw,” Octavia grimaced. The others shuddered with the thought. 

They were lounging in Monty and Jasper’s room, more talking over than actually watching the movie. Bellamy and Raven were sat with their heads against the foot of Jasper’s bed, whilst Clarke, Octavia and Harper all squished under the covers on top of it. Monty and Jasper were sprawled out on Monty’s bed whilst Murphy slouched in a beanbag in the corner, absentmindedly bouncing a ball up and down. Wells was leant against the wall below the TV, not even bothering to pretend to watch it. So much for movie night, though Clarke suspected this often happened. The room was similar to Clarke’s, save for the second bed; since she had arrived six weeks into the year, so she got a whole room to herself. It was a large room, complete with two double beds, a large TV and about a dozen posters of anything from bands to old movies. One wall had small hole in it from when poker night had gotten out of hand last year and someone had got more than a little angry. The crimson curtains were pulled closed to block out the rising sun in an effort to dim the room into a cinema atmosphere. 

“How did you not get burnt, Clarke? Living with humans, I mean,” Monty asked, before pausing to go on, “How did you even get food? Did you... you know... like hunt?” The idea was laughable to any royal. Blood was easy to come by in Moroi communities, with feeders often volunteering their blood for the high they get that comes with being bitten. Their minds were wiped after, of course. But outside of there, Moroi are on their own. 

“Did you use Spirit? To, like, make people give you blood, or, you know, seduce them?” Octavia winked, which resulted in Raven throwing a pillow directed at her face. The concept of Spirit magic was still so mysterious as so few Moroi were gifted with it that very little was known about the full capabilities - and consequences - of Spirit. When Clarke had declared Spirit as her magic a year before she ran way, excitement had filled court. Clarke was used to being asked question after question about it though she barely understood it herself. 

“I mostly just avoided windows in the day and I, erm, did you compulsion, at first. To get blood, I mean. Just kids at parties, they didn’t know the difference between the high and being drunk so it was pretty easy to hide, and then I could use Spirit to heal the marks before anyone could notice. Then I started volunteering at a hospital for work experience and it was easy to sneak a few blood bags home with me from storage,” Clarke felt slightly uncomfortable telling them all this. It had been a secret, her secret, for a year and it felt strange to admit her lifestyle. “It was easier this way, the blood was clean instead of full of alcohol and I didn’t have to use spirit.”

“Where’s the fun in that? You get free alcohol and blood and get to go to loads of parties?” Jasper laughed, “speaking of which...” he pulled out a flask and held it high in the air, followed by cheers from the others. Harper’s face went a strange tinge of green at the sight of it. 

“My dear princess,” Jasper lept off the bed and walked over to where Clarke was slumped, thrusting the flask into her hand, “you have not been to a party, not enjoyed all this dimension of life has to offer, if you have not tried mine and Monty’s genius Moonshine.” Clarke took the flask from him with a questioning look. She glanced over at Wells to make sure what she was about to drink wasn’t pure poison and with a shrug of her shoulders, she took a swig of the blood cocktail. As the drink hit, a wince escaped her face. The room erupted into laughter. 

“Just don’t drink too much, you’ll have a headache for days,” Raven giggled, and Clarke’s suspected she was speaking from experience. 

“She doesn’t need to worry about that, she can just heal herself the next day, lucky bastard,” Murphy muttered from the corner of the room. Clarke just shook her head. Wells knew why she couldn’t use her powers sparingly like that, but the others probably had no clue. 

“What I don’t get is why you volunteered at a hospital for work experience? Did you seriously think you were never coming back?” Bellamy asked. 

Clarke sat in silence for a moment. She guessed she had been planning for the long run. Bellamy knew just as well as Clarke the responsibilities that came with being a member of a royal family, and just how hard it could be to try and shed those responsibilities. She shook her head, mumbling something like she didn’t know. 

“But why did you even leave? Don’t get me wrong, I have some problems with court,” he shot a small glance in Octavia’s direction, “but isn’t life outside Moroi communities so much harder, not to mention extremely dangerous without any guardians? Why would you want to leave?” 

The truth is, Clarke left because she feared for her life. After her father’s ‘accident’, it was a matter of time before they discovered she knew their secret too, was the one to discover it in fact. She hadn’t planned on returning until it was safe. But it will never be safe, not with people in power still breathing down her neck. She hadn’t received any threats yet - not even an official notice or any word from court since she returned. But she knew it would never be safe until they silenced her. Her fear for the powers at court was much larger than her fear of Strigoi attacks. 

Clarke couldn’t take much more of the questioning. What could she tell them? The truth and risk their lives or a lie that could spiral into another rumour that would backfire in her face. Clarke rolled off the bed abruptly, “I guess I just got bored of court,” she lied. She made a show of stretching her arms over her head and yawning, then mumbled an excuse about wanting an early night (day?).

She left them boding her goodnight and starting another argument over team Edward or team Jacob (as much as they all claimed to hate the movie, it was obvious it was not the first time any of them had seen it, or maybe it was just one of the few movies available at the Academy. She even heard Bellamy backing up Raven’s argument that Edward was nothing more than an horny little emo teen). Clarke strode down the hallway and all the way down the stairs until she was suddenly outside. 

The sunlight hit her like a breath of air after almost drowning. She simply stood, eyes closed, soaking up the warm morning sun. Truthfully, it was quite chilly outside in the mid-October morning, but Clarke found herself not caring. In front of her, the sun split from the horizon as it rose for a new day. The breeze kissed Clarke’s neck as she sighed deep. She began to walk away from the school buildings needing to feel free, fully aware no one was allowed to leave dorms after curfew. Again, Clarke found herself not caring. 

She found herself walking down a winding path that led to a tree line and down a shallow hill to the outskirts of the school grounds. The trees swallowed up enough of the morning’s light to offer Clarke a bit more comfort in the open day. She wandered through the tall trees, auburn leaves slowly floating down to the floor. Her head felt hazy, full of nothing, floating like the leaves. She walked on auto-pilot. Above her, blankets of amber, copper and gold filtered the sun’s rays through the autumn trees. 

Finally, she stumbled to an opening about the size of a small field in the trees. An abundance of flowers in bright yellows, deep oranges and rich purples grew wildly, swaying in the breeze. Grass grew just below her knee, soaked in morning dew. Sunlight danced off the droplets like little kaleidoscopes on every blade. Birds whistled their good mornings invisibly from the trees. And something moved. Clarke jumped, her heart leaping in her chest. She hadn’t seen the thing ahead of her until she reached the edge of the field. A figure, clad in black, moved among the grass. It took Clarke a second to realise it was a girl, her fear clouding her eyes for a moment. When she looked closer, she saw she recognised the girl. 

She stood in the centre of the field in black leggings and a black t-shirt, her hair braided down her back. Clarke watched as she held a staff - probably just a bit shorter than her - in both hands and began to repeat the same movements over and over again. Step forward, hit, spin, hit again, step to the side, duck, hit again... and so on. It was obvious that she was training to fight but it seemed more like a dance to Clarke. The way every inch of her body moved with grace, the way she breathed in time with the movements. She repeated the same routine, each set more fluid and precise than the last. Her feet seemed to glide over that long grass, her body swerving and dipping like an flawless ballet dancer - only more deadly. Clarke was mesmerised. And then she twirled once again and her eyes fell on Clarke. 

She stopped immediately, standing up from her deep stance and twirling the staff to hold it in one hand before leaning it against her shoulder. Her chest rose and fell with deep breaths. They both stood still, just looking at each other for a second before the girl stalked over to Clarke. Clarke could make out her blazing green eyes and a faint flush in her cheeks as she came closer. She stopped a few feet away from Clarke. 

“You’re the princess that ran away, and started the fight between Finn and Bellamy,” the girl stared, her face neutral. 

“You’re the one that stopped the fight,” Clarke replied, “and for the record, I didn’t start the fight. I don’t even know what the fight was about.”

“I have a few guesses,” she sighed. She looked down at the staff in her hand, her fingers drumming rhythms along it. Sweat glistened on her skin and her hair caught the sun in a way Clarke wished she could capture in drawings. If only she had pencils in that moment. 

“Anyway, Princess, you should probably get back to the dorms. It can be dangerous out here alone, so close to the wards.”

“It’s day time; Strigoi can’t attack. And you’re out here alone,” Clarke countered, not sure if the girl was warning her or belittling her. Probably both. 

The girl sniggered slightly. “I can handle myself. Nows the only time I can train alone. And I do like training alone. So if you’re not moving...” she began to walk back to her water bottle. 

“Sorry, no, I’m going, I was just, you know, on a walk,” Clarke shouted after the girl. “Lexa, isn’t it? That’s what they called you in the canteen.”

The girl turned back around, nodding her head slightly. She picked up her water bottle, taking a swig and turned to walk back towards Clarke. “It’s fine, I’m done for now anyway.”

“You looked good - I mean you’re fighting looked good,” Clarke stammered. 

Lexa still stared stoically at her, Clarke thought she could see amusement dance in her eyes, “thanks, Princess.”

“Clarke is fine.”

“Right, well Clarke,” the click of her tongue resonating through the field, “you shouldn’t go on walks by yourself after curfew. So let’s go back.”

Clarke wanted to argue that Lexa was out here by herself, but thought better of it. She was probably right about being able to handle herself, based on what Clarke had just seen with the staff. Instead, she followed the other girl back into the shade of the small forest. They walked in comfortable silence along the path, Clarke trudging through the litter of leaves and Lexa carrying her staff by her side with ease. Clarke couldn’t help but tilt her head to the sunlight, closing here eyes again. 

“For a Moroi, you do enjoy the sunlight more than I’d expect,” Lexa almost whispered. Clarke hasn’t noticed the girl watching her for by her side. 

“I don’t know, there’s something about only seeing darkness that makes me miss the light,” Clarke replied. 

“I understand that,” she was quiet for a moment before continuing, “I sometimes miss the day too. It’s why I train when everyone else is gone. At my old school, it was just Dhampirs. In the summer we would spend hours in the sun everyday and even in the winter they would make us train outside to build our resilience. It could’ve been snowing and they still would’ve made us run drills.” A hint of a smile flashed across her face as quick as it disappeared. Clarke suppressed a snicker at the thought and they continued walking in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. 

When it was time for them to part, Lexa turned to her, “Clarke,” she nodded with her face still impassive, and turned before Clarke could reply. Clarke was left following her with eyes until she disappeared round the corner. It took a moment for Clarke to realise Lexa had walked her back to her dorms and that the Dhampir dorms were in the other direction. Before she could overthink that, she pushed through the doors and went up to her rooms. Only then did she realise her heart hadn’t slowed down since she first saw Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry if there’s some points in this chapter that feels like it’s just me explaining things, as the story moves on it’ll be less explaining the world and more plot. Thank you for reading and any kudos and feedback is appreciated!! Comment things you wanna see and I’ll try to include as much as possible, and also comment title names because I actually have no idea what to call this lol


	3. A Deadly Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is struggling with her magic and her mother, but maybe seeing Lexa fight takes her mind off it a bit.

Clarke had been staring at her teacher for about 20 minutes straight now. Her head ached and her eyes were blurry, not to mention the awkwardness that came with staring at your teacher for about 20 minutes straight. Sure, she was pretty sure he was gay but that didn’t stop their eye contact from becoming awkward almost instantly. 

Being the only person - student and teacher alike - to have declared Spirit as her element meant Clarke was in a class by herself. Her teacher, Mr Jackson, had been trying his best to guide her but being a Water user himself, he couldn’t fully understand how to help her. Research could only get you so far, so Clarke was on her own for the most part in practicing her magic. Back at court, they had specialists to help her develop, but even then she had only met two other Moroi who used Spirit. Mr Jackson was assigned to help Clarke as he was the only available teacher at the Academy, although she suspected it was her mother’s doing as they used to work together before Clarke left. 

For the past week they were working on seeing Auras. Clarke’s speciality was healing; she had a natural gift for that and it’s what lead her to discover her element. But there were other Spirit users that could use compulsion, walk in dreams, read minds and see Auras. Clarke could use a small amount of compulsion but she hadn’t the faintest idea how to do the rest. They had agreed that seeing Auras was probably a good place to begin, although seeing as neither of them really knew how to develop her magic, it was a more a guessing game. Hence, Clarke staring at her teaching for 20 minutes straight, willing her mind to see a halo of colour around his body. They were getting no where. 

Clarke sat back from her desk and released a sigh, rubbing her eyes. She was beginning to grow tired of not being able to harness her magic, and she could already feel the toll it was taking in her body and mind. She had been at the academy for a few weeks now, and each day grew more and more frustrating. Mr Jackson had done his best to comfort her, telling her it was natural to struggle, especially with Spirit, but Clarke had neglected to tell him about the side effects that using Spirit everyday caused. 

She could feel the darkness edging in. Clarke was determined not to stop, she was just being childish and she should be able to control her powers. It was ridiculous. Everyone else her age had already perfected the basics of their elements and were moving onto more intricate and complex uses, whilst Clarke had only mastered one area of her magic. However, other Spirit users she had met were only able to master one area too, but Clarke was determined to match her peers even though Spirit was the most complicated element. 

It had only started a few days ago, and it had took Clarke a while to register. It started off small, unnoticeable or at least ignorable, until it wasn’t. She could practically feel the cloud surrounding her, drowning her, isolating her from her friends. She felt completely empty, yet everything was so dimly overwhelming. There was was a constant weight on her chest yet her heart was completely hollow. She tried to laugh and joke with her friends, but it became so hard to pretend. 

Clarke knew what was wrong, yet she ignore it anyway. She’d been through it all before, even though it had disappeared a year ago. Only after it had disappeared did Clarke realise how bad it had gotten. It was a consequence of Spirit magic and it was unfair; no other element had such a reaction on the user. Still, Clarke tired to convince herself it wasn’t real, it wasn’t as bad as before, she could handle it. She couldn’t. 

She was about to give up for the day when another student tentatively knocked at the door. Clarke didn’t recognise him, but when he came in he handed her a letter addressed to her. The swirling black writing on the front was unmistakable. Her heart sunk. She would recognise that writing anywhere - royal decrees, autographs or birthday cards. Her mother. 

“Let’s take a break, you’ve earned it,” Mr Jackson stood from where he had been sat opposite Clarke and came to rest a hand on her shoulder. He then moved to that back of the classroom, not so subtly reviewing the books they had found in the old library about Auras. 

Clarke reluctantly turned the envelope over to open it. Her family crest was stamped in red wax to seal the letter, and Clarke rolled eyes thinking how dramatic could her own mother be. She ripped the envelope open and unfolded the letter. She scanned the page. 

My dearest daughter,  
I am glad you are alive. What you did was unacceptable. The King is willing to forget the matter, and I have made sure you will be safe back at court. For now, please stay at St Vladimir’s Academy to finish your education and afterwards you will return home. I look forward to seeing you at Unity Day.  
Love, Mom. 

Typical. She knew her mother lived by the short and sweet rule when giving speeches but in letters to her own daughter? And not even a mention of her father, or what had happened. No begging for her to return home after they hadn’t seen each other in a year. Typical. 

Clarke scrunched the piece of paper in her hand and set it alight with the little fire magic every Moroi possessed. She watched the paper curl and burn under the flickering flame before she tossed it into the bin as the flame died. If her mother was expecting a reply she was going to be disappointed. Still, the thought of having to see her at the annual Unity Day ball made her sick to her stomach. A small fragment of Clarke ached to see her mother again, missed her like any daughter would miss their mother. But that ache was for a mother that no longer existed, someone who had laughed at her jokes, helped her with her homework and combed her hair before balls. That person died with her father, both through the grief and the guilt. Clarke’s blame still burned brightly for her mother. 

“You know, I think we’ll just call it a day,” Jackson said from across the room. He glanced at the still smoking paper in the bin and closed the book he had been reading shut. Clarke just nodded. He gave Clarke a tight smile as she packed up her stuff and slung her bag over her shoulder. She had no doubt Jackson knew who the letter was from, based on the obnoxious seal and the anger blazing in Clarke’s eyes. He would probably try to convince her to write back to her mother if her whole body didn’t practically scream hostility. As she walked out the door, he called after her. She turned back to catch his genuinely sympathetic glance. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it eventually. And... she means well, Clarke, just give her a chance.”

Clarke wanted to yell back that he had no idea what she had done, but thought better of it. After all, he did have no idea and he had just spent the past two hours patiently yet hopelessly coaching Clarke. The next few weeks were going to be long and hard. 

After Clarke had escaped the classroom, she scanned the hallway for one of her friends. She spotted Octavia walking across the grass, probably skipping her lesson in Earth magic. 

“Octavia! O!” Clarke shouted over to her. The girl turned around. “Wanna go on a walk?” 

***

Walking hadn’t lasted very long. They had wandered for about fifteen minutes before both girls got too cold in their school uniforms in the cold winter night. The night was clear, stars shine brightly above them but without clouds to cover the sky frost had begun to set in the air. They had walked all the way round the gardens and then over to the Dhampir training fields before Octavia announced her fingers were going to drop off if they didn’t get inside. Neither of them had brought coats, and although Clarke liked to appreciate the stars in a clear night sky, she could also appreciate them from inside wrapped in a blanket. 

They found themselves inside the nearest building they could find - the Dhampir gym. Although, the longer Clarke was in there, the longer she suspected Octavia had an ulterior motive. A pretty fit ulterior motive. They waited in the reception area, Octavia claiming she wanted to warm up before going back out. In front of them, a large glass window overlooked the gym where dozens of Dhamphirs were training. Octavia’s eyes were fixed on one of them in particular, a tall, broad shouldered boy with dark skin and a bands of tattoos around his arms. She raised her hand in a wave when he looked up, shooting as surprised smile towards her. The rest of the Dhampir novices were scattered, some running around the track on the outside, some punching bags in the corner, others practicing with sliver stakes. Just watching them, Clarke was out of breath. 

There were three ways to kill a Strigoi: burning (usually through exposure to sunlight), decapitation, and a charmed stakes through the heart. Because decapitation was practically impossible with a Strigoi and no one could control sunlight, silver stakes were usually your best option. The stakes were infused with all the elements of magic - apart from Spirit, as Spirit had only been discovered in the last decade and the steaks seemed to do their job just fine without it. Dhampirs trained to use these, though many didn’t actually touch a real one until their final year at school, and even then they were blunt for training. No real harm could be done. Nearly all Dhampirs start their training to the age of six with just one goal - protect Moroi and kill Strigoi. 

Clarke’s vision fell to the centre of the room, where two figure stood talking on a large mat with a painted white circle around the edge. Indra, one of the Guardian instructors who had aided in her ‘capture’ stood with her hands on her hips after handing the girl she was talking to two silver stakes. Clarke would recognise those braids anywhere now. It had been a week since she had talked to Lexa, and school work and magic practiced had pretty much consumed her life so much that she’d been too busy to offer her thanks to the girl for walking her back to her dorms. Not that she’d had the chance; Lexa was either out training no where to be seen or surrounded by her Dhampir friends who (Clarke was slightly ashamed to admit) could be quite intimidating. 

“Okay, let’s see if any of you are actually listening to anything I was saying,” Indra shouted to the small group of novices that surrounded the mat. After a brief glare at the group, three of them came to stand in the circle. They each bore a silver stake in one hand and padding over their heart over their black training gear. Then Lexa stepped forward to take her place opposite them. She almost seemed to sense Clarke watching, and looked up through the window at her. She nodded her head in her direction before lowering into a stance facing the three other Dhampirs, her face a mask of quiet power. 

“Did the Commander just nod at us?” Octavia questioned, who had been eagerly waiting for the fight to start. 

“Yeah, um, we kinda met the other day; I walked in on her training in a fi- did you just call her the Commander? Do you mean Lexa?” It has taken a moment for Clarke to register the title. 

“Uh, yeah,” Octavia said like it was blatantly obvious, “she’s like a god, Clarke.”

Clarke suppressed a laugh at this. Sure, she had been impressed when she saw Lexa training a week ago but she wouldn’t say she was an actual deity. 

“Guess that explains why Indra’s making her fight three people at once. Isn’t that unfair? And why do they call her the Commander?” Bit of an over kill, in her opinion. 

Octavia shook her head. “Just watch. I’ve never actually seen her fight but I’ve heard things. And it has something to do with her old school. She came from like the most elite school in Europe somewhere, they only accepted a dozen students each generation. The best novice in the generation gets the title Commander when they leave. She should’ve been titled this year but...” Octavia trailed off, her eyes dipping to her feet. “Lexa’s been here since she was 12, and people have called her the Commander ever since. Or Heda, if you ask the Dhampirs.”

“Well, it looks like your finally gonna get your chance to watch the mighty Commander fight, try not to wet yourself with excitement,” Clarke smirked. 

They watched as a small crowd below slowly formed around the training mat. Lexa twirled steaks in each hands like they were drum sticks, still crouched low with a small smile playing in her face. The other three mimicked her stance, forming a semi-circle facing her. Clarke wondered what the girl had done to earn such a title at such a young age. Or why she was no longer at the other school. She didn’t have long to think though before a sharp whistle blew from the centre of the gym. There was a pause, and then chaos broke out. 

As soon as the first Dhampir stepped forward, the crowd began their heckling - some for Lexa and some for the other Dhampirs. Clarke found herself almost joining in. Dhampirs from the track broke from their path to see the show, and even instructors stopped talking as if they knew they would loose the battle for their students attention. 

The closest Dhampir to Lexa - a lean boy with a shaved head - darted towards her. He slashed with his stake right where Lexa’s face should’ve been, except at the last millisecond she had slid to the side and pushed out with her own arm to block him. She hooked her arm across his, pulling him forward and slicing at his rib cage. However, before she could get a good enough reach, the second Dhampir jumped in. Lexa ducked to avoid his attack, sweeping at him with her legs whilst still holding onto the first guy, flipping him down with her. It wasn’t long for the third Dhamphir joined, using her own stake to defend the other two whilst they attacked Lexa. 

Their fight continued, and Clarke couldn’t rip her eyes away. She followed every movement, the dance between Lexa and her three partners. Lexa ran circles around them, spinning and slashing with her two stakes. She advanced on the first Dhampir, the other two a mere distraction that could not contain her. It wasn’t long before he hit the mat, ‘stabbed’ by one of her stakes. Still, Lexa powered on, her feet gliding and arms soaring as she attacked. She stood low in the middle of them, whipping around to parry and counter attacks on both fronts, a hurricane of blinding force that effortlessly matched and overpowered both of her opponents. So graceful yet so deadly, Clarke found herself in awe again. Okay, so maybe she could see why they called her the Commander. 

Clarke could’ve watched for years but it was over within minutes. Lexa stood in the centre of the circle, her chest rising and falling steadily. The last of her opponents struggled back to her feet after she had been ‘killed’, her cheek starting to swell already from a blow Lexa had dealt early on in the fight. Lexa reached for her hand to help her, like she hadn’t just fought her with ease. She then slung her stakes to the floor as several Dhampir stood forward to clap her on the back or praise her. From the back of the crowd, Clarke saw Indra give the tiniest nod of approval before ordering the novices around her to get back to training. Lexa took a swig out of a bottle someone handed to her and caught Clarke’s eye once more as she lifted her head. She held her gaze briefly before turning and walking out towards the changing rooms. 

Besides Clarke, Octavia murmured, “God, I would love to learn how to do that,” before excusing herself to go to the toilet, though Clarke suspected she had other reasons for wondering off. Clarke was left alone with her thoughts, green eyes still flashing in her mind before she turned away from the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading! Reading all your comments in the first two chapters literllay made my day so thank you for that too! Any comments/kudos is so appreciated and I wanna hear your feedback. What do you wanna see happen or what do you what more of? Honestly open to ideas so please feel free to leave some x


	4. Two By Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning the the Dhampir trials are announced.

“Stop staring at him!” 

“I was not staring, just... appreciating.”

This earned Raven a playful slap on the arm from the agitated Octavia. Raven and Clarke burst out laughing as Octavia stood on her toes to look over Raven’s shoulder at the object of their conversation - the mysterious new boy Octavia had been spending way too much time with. He was sat at a table 20 feet away, pretending like he didn’t notice the three girls watching him. The nervous glances he kept sneaking over to them betrayed him. 

Everyone had noticed that Octavia had be been spending a little too much time ‘studying’ or ‘going on walks’ lately, and despite the others being seemingly convinced by her deception, Clarke and Raven weren’t about to be fooled by her pathetic excuses for disappearing all night. All day, they had been teasing her mercilessly after she appeared at breakfast right after Lincoln - thankfully before her brother - suspiciously wearing a turtle neck jumper (that Octavia had previously stated she hated) that covered the majority of her neck. Fortunately, her brother didn’t question her unusual fashion choices, but as soon as he was out of earshot Raven has descended on her like a eagle to a mouse. 

Flash forward to dinner and the three girls were queued in the canteen. After hours of interrogation between lessons, Octavia had finally let it slip and confirmed what Clarke and Raven both already knew. They had feigned surprise, to antagonise her further, but neither of them were particularly good actors. That didn’t stop Raven from eyeing the boy relentlessly to ‘try to get a read on him’. 

“You’re gonna creep him out, I swear, Raven,” Octavia nagged at her. 

“He’s built like a Greek gladiator, I’m not gonna creep your new boyfriend out.”

“He’s not my boyfriend and he can be shy-“

“O, he could step on me without blinking,” she paused before adding, “I would probably let him I mean look at those arms-“ Octavia smacked her again “-But I would warn him about Bell if I were you.” God knows Lincoln could probably crush Bellamy too, but when it came to his little sister, Raven wasn’t too sure. 

“Are you gonna invite him to movie night? Or do you have other plans with him while we’re all out?” Raven could barely contain her laughter now, just picturing Bellamy’s face when the Dhampir walked through the door. Or worse, his face when he realised exactly what his baby sister was she getting up to during her ‘study sessions’. Octavia’s cheeks burned, a playful scowl covering her face. 

“You hoping to get him for the trials? Maybe he’ll protect you,” Clarke smirked, faking a swoon. 

Octavia rolled her eyes. “He’s one of the best novices, they’ll probably give him to a you or another royal or one of the other aristocratic kids.”

“Maybe we’ll fight for him, Clarke,” Raven mockingly brought up her fists. 

Word had spread at lunch that the Dhampir instructors were going to announce the beginning of the novice trials this evening at dinner. Excitement had rippled through the school, whispers and rumours and speculation about how would be partnered with who. 

The first part of the trials were the same every year: each Dhampir student in their final year was assigned a Moroi they were to protect for six weeks. They were essentially glued to them the entire time; following them to lessons, extra-curriculars, even move into the Moroi dorms to be in the same building as their charge 24 hours a day. During this time, guardian instructors conducted random drills or ‘attacks’ on the Moroi, acting as Strigoi so the novices could protect their Moroi just like they do once they graduate. Attacks varied from attempted kidnappings to stray assaults, but each one was graded by the instructors based on the Dhamphir’s ability to protect their charge. These grades were included in the overall trial grade, which determined who the new graduates would be assigned to protect for virtually there whole lives - from powerful Moroi who lived at court to ordinary Moroi living in human cities. It was a high achievement to be assigned at to a royal, and came with quite a hefty paycheque (though still no holidays). So yeah, there was a lot riding on these trials. 

Octavia glanced back over to Lincoln. He was sat at one of the circular tables, surrounded by other Dhampirs. Clarke followed her gaze her the seat next to him. Lexa sat back in her chair, eyes skimming over the table. She nodded at the discussion, face hinting at interest. Clarke probably looked at her a moment too long when she realised she was holding up the queue behind her. 

As soon as the girls got their blood, they scanned the canteen for the rest of their friends. Octavia shot them both warning looks as they approached the table to guarantee their silence on the whole Lincoln matter. The last thing she needed was a fight breaking out. Especially because she knew Bellamy stood no chance if he did decide to go for Lincoln. They could here their conversation from two tables away, Wells mediating the light argument. 

“Clarke, okay, what do you think? You were out alone,” Bellamy waved them over. 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“About Dhampirs being guardians. We need to learn how to defend ourselves, we can’t always rely on Dhampirs to protect us and they shouldn’t need to.” It was clear they had been talking about this for a while. 

“They don’t need but what else would they do? Their entire lives are for protecting us, if they wanna do that why are you complaining? I’m not about to stop one of them jumping in front of me when the Strigoi come,” Murphy slouched in his chair, slurping blood from a cup. 

“Princess, what’s the verdict?” 

“No ones gonna ask us?” Raven came to sit down next to Clarke. 

“You weren’t alone in a city without any guardians for a year. She was.” 

Raven shrugged in agreement, looking over to Clarke. 

“I think,” she began, taking a moment, “I think that there’s a fine line between pressure and encouragement. We should encourage Dhampirs to become guardians because it’s what they’re best at, what they know how to do, just how Moroi are encouraged to do jobs their powers hold them to an advantage to. I think we should support this, but also support their lives or choices, if they want to become parents let them raise their children instead of shipping them off to academies so the parents can carry on working. Let them live, not just work. Also don’t pressure them. There’s been an imbalance between Moroi and Dhampirs for, well forever, and to close that Moroi need to learn how to be independent from Dhampirs even if it’s just for a short period of time. It’s ridiculous to expect Dhampirs to dedicate every aspect of their lives to us, give up families and holidays for us. We should learn to use our powers to keep safe when they aren’t around, but still give them the opportunities, as well as a bigger voice. We shou-“ Clarke stopped. Maybe she had gotten carried away with the whole situation, but she felt passionately about it. She had been surrounded by guardians growing up at court, but she had also been cared for by many of them. And she had always thought it was significantly unfair how Dhampirs were treated as inferior when the Moroi’s survival depended on them for protection. They didn’t even have a voice at court. 

“Careful, Princess, your beginning to sound like a queen,” Bellamy laughed lightly at her enthusiasm. Clarke couldn’t stop the blush running to her cheeks. 

“Wouldn’t want your mum knowing that you could take over from her,” Wells agreed. 

It was dangerous territory, but Clarke imagined what it would be like to sit on that thrown. Since she was little, she had been groomed as a Princess, but her mother had always been the head of the Griffin house. After her father’s passing, even more so. She thought of the good she could do, especially with the information she possessed. But they would kill her before she even reached for the crown. 

***

Cacophonous chatter filled the air, as excited students milled about the canteen. Lexa sat at the centre of it, drumming her fingers lightly on the table. She listens as her friends argued over who would be partnered with who in the trials - the only topic of conversation any of them were capable of at the moment. Of course, the argument was pointless, they didn’t get to decided who they got. It all depended on what their instructors thought of their skills already; the better the skills the higher ranking Moroi they were assigned, just like in the real world. That didn’t stop the teasing each other, though. 

“Maybe I’ll get your new Moroi girl you’ve been pining after, Linc,” Anya smirked. 

Lincoln went back to looking at his food rather than sneaking a smile at Octavia. “She’s not my girl,” he huffed bashfully, “not yet anyway.”

Lexa strained not to roll her eyes. She had been watching their exchange across the canteen for the past five minutes. The group of three girls could barely contain their laughter, Octavia swatting the brunette when she looked over again. Lexa looked away before her eyes wandered to the other girl with them. 

Not long after the small group of giggling Moroi found their seats, Lexa spotted Guardian Indra enter the canteen. Whilst this wasn’t an unusual occurrence (instructors did have to eat as well after all), a hushed anticipation rippled through the air. Even the loud group of Moroi who had been shouting not a minute earlier quietened. When Indra marched her way to the queue for food however, a collective groan was released from many of the agitated students. She clearly wanted them to wait in agony a little while longer before everyone found out who they would have to spend then next six weeks glued to. Lexa glanced over at the group of Moroi, she couldn’t help but wonder who she would be paired with. She spotted Clarke - or rather the back of her head - deep in trailing thought. The fluorescent light that shone above her lent Clarke white highlights in her golden hair, different from the warm amber light the sun had gifted the blonde on that early morning Lexa had last spoken to her, she observed. To her surprise, the Moroi that surrounded Clarke had not resumed their conversations like the rest of the canteen, but were rather engrossed in whatever Clarke had to say. Lexa couldn’t make out the words escaping her mouth but it was clear from the several heads turned towards her that what she was saying held their attention. Or maybe it was just her celebrity-like status. After all, after being at the Academy for weeks now Clarke had barely said a word to anyone outside her group, apart from Lexa that one morning. 

Just as the volume began to rise again, Indra stepped forward to the front of the canteen and cleared her throat. Maybe she, too, was sick of the wait, Lexa mused. 

“You know what time it is,” she began, before pulling out a list from her jacket pocket. Brief as ever, Lexa smiled to herself. “And you know the rules. No changing or swapping partners, I don’t care if they’re your mortal enemy. After graduation, you could get stuck with anyone, so consider this practice.”

Lexa could feel the energy buzzing throughout the room. Even her own leg bounced slightly before she could school it back to stone stillness. Not that she’d let anyone know it, but Lexa dreaded finding out who she was getting. She could just hope that whoever it was didn’t make her job more difficult than it needed to be. She was confident in her abilities, bu tit was going to be a long six weeks if she was paired with a pretentious, stuck up Moroi. 

“Let’s begin. In no particular order: Novice Sasha with Atom...” Indra started rattling off names from the list. Around her, students - Moroi and Dhampir alike - let out sighs of relief or groaned whilst their friends laughed at them. “...Novice Lincoln with Bellamy Blake...” Anya snickered simultaneously as the brunette Moroi - Raven - erupted into laughed. Lincoln let his head fall to her table. The girls brother was clearly oblivious to the cruel joke the universe is playing, nodding in Lincoln’s direction in indifferent acknowledgment. 

“Novice Echo with Octavia Blake, Novice Anya with Raven Reyes-“ their heads shot up to look at each other, Anya throwing Raven a wink before turning back to face Indra, “-Novice Tristan with Wells Jaha, Novice Gaia with Harper McIntyre, Novice Emori with Monty Green, Novice Maya with Jasper Jordan, Novice Niylah with John Murphy and finally, Novice Lexa with Clarke Griffin.” 

The room broke out into discussions. The teens celebrated or commiserated or stood around looking puzzled trying to figure out who their partner actually was. Across the room, Lexa and Clarke’s eyes met. A small smile broke across Clarke’s face before she turned away. Lexa’s stomach flipped but she schooled her expression straight. 

“The trials will commence in two days. In the mean time, Dhampirs pack up your things and Moroi get ready for your new guardian to move in. You’re dismissed,” Indra finished over the noise. 

“The Princess, ay? Have fun with that, I give it a solid five minutes before one of you attacks the other. She’s probably got her head so far up her own ass, she’ll be one of those Moroi that barely acknowledges that you’re even there,” Anya laughed. 

“Clarke doesn’t seem to be like that,” Lexa subtly shook her head, “I could’ve gotten a lot worse. At least she’ll prove to be... interesting.”

Anya sniggered at that. 

“Don’t pretend like we didn’t all see that wink at Reyes, Anya. Just try not to sleep with this one, she is your charge,” Lincoln jabbed. 

“I can’t help if she falls for me. I’m irresistible, it’s in my blood. And you’re one to talk, fooling around with a Moroi princess yourself-“

“She not a Princess.”

“She’s basically a Princess. I’m serious, Linc, be careful. They’re not like us. And if she hurts you, there will be a long line of people prepared to cut her, starting with me.”

“That’s enough, Anya. Let’s try and get through these trials without an all out war with the Moroi. We do our job, and we survive. At least try to be civil,” Lexa stopped Anya before she took it too far. She knew Lincoln was swimming in dangerous waters but she could hardly command him to stop seeing Octavia. She had no doubt that if she did, he would, but she trusted he could handle himself. He knew what he was getting into, and he knew it could never be serious. Lincoln’s life would be dedicated to being a warrior, and Octavia was raised practically on a different planet. However, Octavia was a slave to the court like the rest of them, treated like a criminal for just being born if the rumours were true. And Lexa had a feeling they were true. 

They regained their light banter before long. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder how this would be one of the last times they sat like this before their duty started. Their lives given to protect. Lexa had already given so much, and it haunted her every time she closed her eyes. But it was weakness. That love and grief and guilt she felt - weakness. So she carried on. And even if the next six weeks were just a trial, she would treat it like it was real. After all, she knew more than anyone to never let your guard down. She had made that mistake once, and many had lost their lives because of it. 

Movement from a Moroi table caught Lexa’s eye. Clark and her friends were standing up, leaving after the excitement of the announcement. She saw Clarke look over at her, hesitating on whether to approach Lexa or not. After a minuscule battle behind her cerulean eyes, Clarke set her shoulders back and stroke over to the table. 

“Lexa,” she nodded, “I, um, look forward to spending the next few weeks with you.” She stood slightly awkwardly in front of the table, every Dhampir in close proximity eyeing her. “If you need any help moving your stuff, I’ll be around.”

“I think I can manage,” Lexa half-smiled, before continuing after seeing Clarke’s face redden, “But I’ll let you know if I could use a hand.”

Clarke nodded before turning on her heals and leaving with her friends, casting a quick glance back at those emerald eyes. Lexa heard Anya suppress a laugh with a cough, and subsequently kicked her under the table. This only made Anya laugh harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I decided to include more of Lexa’s POV in this chapyer just because I love her character and soon more and more will be revealed about her. Leave a comment and let me know if you want to see more of Clarke or Lexa’s POV or anyone else’s. As always, feel free to leave suggestions/feedback/things you wanna see included and I’ll try to reply to all. Thank you! x


	5. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa moved in with Clarke for the trials. 
> 
> Please don’t kill me, I had to use the sharing bed trope. I saw an opportunity an opportunity and I took it okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry this is a couple days late, I have exams next week and I’ve been working crazy hard to pass them so don’t kill me thanks x

St Vladmir’s au chapter 5

 

Clarke really was not in the mood today. 

She’d received another unsolicited letter from her mother after pointedly ignoring her a few weeks ago. It contained the usual; you disgraced the whole Griffin line, study hard, see you at the Unity Day Ball. Not a single word of her father. She’d also wasted the Sunday staring out the window, straining her eyes to try to even glimpse the auras of passing students. This only further worsened the crushing headache she’d woken up with, as well as the swirling black hole that had continued to grow in her chest as she used her magic. She felt as if her head were in a vice that was continually tightening. So no, Clarke was not in the mood at all. 

Her friends had seem to notice Clarke’s sour mood over the past week. Wells had been slipping her chocolates whenever he could, Octavia and Raven has taken it upon themselves to start girls night every Friday (completed with them bickering over Mean Girls or The Blair Witch Project), even Murphy had made an effort to limit the snarky comments. She was thankful for it and had grown closer to the group, but that hadn’t fully distract Clarke. 

She bustled about her room, figuring what exactly she needed to tidy up and what she could shove in the bottom of her wardrobe for another day. Her new roommate would be arriving soon, and god knows Clarke was not ready for her to see the mess Clarke lived amongst everyday. Her room was quite bare, having only moved into it a few weeks ago; a bed stood central with crisp white sheets, an oak wardrobe big enough to fit a small car in in the corner, a desk cluttered with art supplies and discarded homework. In the dim light of the slowly rising sun, her room didn’t actually look too bad. The watercolours that already stained her desk were unnoticeable and the charcoal brushed into the carpet could be hoovered up later. The extra bed that had originally be moved out of Clarke’s bedroom hadn’t been delivered from the basement yet, so the room was still quite spacious, and Clarke prayed it arrived soon otherwise she didn’t know what she was going to do. 

It wasn’t completely unexpected that her Dhampir partner came in the form of Lexa Woods. It was no secret that Clarke was a pretty high status Moroi and it was certainly obvious that Lexa was the best novice in the academy. Probably in the world (but that was just Clarke’s opinion). So when they had been partnered together, Clarke shouldn’t have been surprised, but her heart jumped just the same. She supposed she was lucky. She could’ve been partnered with someone a lot worse, and yeah Lexa was a little serious (a lot serious) but Clarke could work with that. And she needed that, if Lexa was going to be her Guardian in a year’s time, which was a likely possibility if the next few weeks went well for her. 

Two concise knocks sounded at the door. Speak of the devil. Clarke hurried to kick the last remaining pile of clothes under her bed, mentally noting she would pick them up later. 

“Come in!”

The door swung open revealing a rather sweaty Commander, her cheeks still tainted light pink. 

“I apologise for being a bit late, I was training and didn’t realise what time it was,” Lexa stood awkwardly in the doorway, donning her training gear and a back rucksack slung over her shoulder. 

“Its fine, I was just cleaning. Come in, um, make yourself at home,” Clarke waved her in, “you just been training?”

“Yeah, I figured I’d squeeze in one last session before the trials,” Lexa slung her bag onto the floor. 

“Well, there’s a few clear drawers in that chest over there for your stuff and I can make room in the wardrobe if you need somewhere to hang your clothes.”

“That won’t be necessary, thank you.”

“Is that everything there or is there more bags outside?” Clarke nodded towards the black backpack on the floor. It looked only slightly bigger then Clarke’s own school bag. 

“Yeah, that’s everything.”

“It’s full of weapons isn’t it?”

“The stakes are mostly blunt, I promise.”

“Mostly?”

One of Lexa’s eyebrows quirked up. 

“So, are you looking forward to having to follow me around for the next six weeks?” Clarke laughed. The trials didn’t officially start until tomorrow morning, but both girls figured it was easier to to get sorted now. She sat down on the bed, bring her feet up to sit on them. 

Lexa let her eyes rolled, “I’m ecstatic. I can hardly wait to stand silently in the corner and listen to your Moroi friends gossiping for hours.” The sarcasm was not missed by Clarke. 

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Believe it or not, it’s not meant to be fun. It’s meant to be my job. To protect you, not stalk you, obviously.”

Clarke laughed. “I promise it won’t be as bad as out think. I won’t be one of those Moroi that makes you stand in the corner everywhere we go. And my friends aren’t that bad, you might find you actually like some of them.”

“We shall see. Anyway, I dread to think of how their first nights are going with their new Guardians.”

Clarke sniggered at just the thought of what mischief Raven and Anya would already be up to, or even worse, how Bellamy and Lincoln were getting along. She caught a Lexa’s eye to find the same amusement flash across, and knew they were thinking along the same lines. 

“God help us all,” Clarke smirked. “Anyways,” she lifted herself off the bed and moved across to the bathroom, fetching a small pile of white towels that she handed to Lexa, “you’re gonna stink out my room with all your workout stink.”

“It’s called sweat, Clarke. It’s what happens when you do exercise,” Lexa responded patronisingly. Clarke let her have this one, only because she was slightly shameful that in the year of her freedom she had joined a gym that she only ended up stepping foot in once. And because she was acutely aware of post-workout Lexa’s flushed checks and her top clinging to her. Clarke averted her eyes from Lexa before she walked into the bathroom with her bag. 

Alone again, Clarke picked up her phone from where it was discarded on the desk. About a hundred messages blinked on the screen, all from various group chats. She scanned through them quickly. 

Murphy: anyone else’s Novice an absolute stiff

Raven: anyone else’s Novice an absolute fitty

Monty: gross raven

Bell: don’t get any ideas Rav

Raven: yeah I’d hate to get involved with a Dhampir

Octavia: they’re not all bad!

Octavia: I mean mine seems nice

Octavia: idk about the rest of them

Harper: I think mines trying to convert me. If you don’t hear anything else from me I’ve joined a cult

Wells: well we’ll have to get used to it. Just six more weeks. 

Bell: idek why we have to do this. I could probably take my Novice on they aren’t that good. 

Raven: yeah maybe you should fight him, bell, see what happens

Octavia: omg stop bell u defo couldn’t 

Raven: O you sure know a lot about bell’s Novice

Octavia: no I don’t ??? Just an observation 

Bell: whatever 

The texts continued. Clarke huffed at her friends, who were so used to just being around Moroi that the idea that the Dhampirs probably didn’t want this either perplexed them. Clarke had spent her fair share of time around other Dhampirs and humans too, and even though the latter didn’t know of existence, she got on well with them considering. Or some of them, at least. She had a feeling her friends would soon grow to appreciate the Dhampirs - or maybe they would start a bloody war with them. Who could tell. 

Finally, Lexa walked out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped in white towel and Clarke had to suppress a laugh (badly). 

“I’ve got to admit, I never thought I’d see the mighty Commander in pink fluffy pyjamas,” Clarke smirked. Lexa was indeed dressed in baby pink fluffy pyjama bottoms with stars on them, matched with a black tank top. The daggers her eyes shot Clarke did not match the soft aesthetic. “Don’t worry, it’ll be our secret,” laughed Clarke. Lexa just rolled her eyes walked over to the second desk - the one clear surface in the whole of Clarke’s room. 

“I have nothing to be ashamed of. They are practical, warm and comfy. I still hold my dignity.”

“Uh huh, sure you do, Commander,” Clarke said, emphasising the title. Lexa pointedly ignored her. 

She stood at the desk, unwrapping her hair. She reached into her bag and took out a small wooden box. Not just weapons then, unless the contents of the box held a small blade. Lexa opened the box almost reverently and took out a dainty necklace. It was a delicate gold chain with a tiny medallion hanging from it, resembling a cog. She clasped it around her neck so it rested against her chest.

“It’s beautiful,” Clarke offered. 

“Thank you,” She seemed to hesitate before continuing, “My mother gave it me when I was born, my father claimed she charmed it with all her magic to protect me. He said if I wore it, I would always feel loved,” Lexa’s voice was low and hushed as she spoke. 

“Your mother’s a Moroi?” It was rare for a Moroi woman to be with a male Dhampir, usually it was the other way round as many Moroi women wanted Moroi children. Moroi fathers wanted this too, but this just meant they often didn’t stick around to raise their Dhampir children. 

“She was, yes.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Actually...” Lexa walked towards Clarke, bringing her hands up to the back of her neck again and unclamping the chain. She motioned for Clarke to turn around, “you should wear it. I’m meant to be protecting you, so...” she trailed off.

“No, Lex, I couldn’t-“

Lexa had already gone to stand behind Clarke, her fingers brushing the back of her neck as she clasped the golden chain around it. Clarke shivered. The necklace was beautiful, warm against her chest. Or maybe it was the feeling of Lexa standing so close. Clarke mentally at agreed it was the former. 

“It has protected me well, I like to think. Now it will protect me through you, for if you are safe, so am I. As your guardian,” Lexa added. 

“But it was your mother’s-“

“And know it’s yours.”

Clarke sighed reluctantly, “okay, fine, but I’m giving to back to you after this trial is over.” She could see Lexa wasn’t going to take it back. Maybe she could slip it back when Lexa didn’t notice, she’d hate for Lexa to go without it if it held sentimental value. Clarke was bewildered that Lexa even possessed anything with sentimental value, didn’t think it was possible coming for the stoic, renowned Commander. 

Lexa nodded in agreement at the compromise. 

***

“Lexa, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m perfectly fine on the floor, Clarke.”

“But it’s uncomfy.”

“I’ve slept on worse.”

“But you’ll wake up stiff. How are you meant to protect me if your muscles are all aching?”

Lexa let out a loud sigh and Clarke knew she had won this battle. Lexa rolled over on the floor to face Clarke, giving her a pointed look. 

They had been arguing for the past ten minutes after discovering the second bed from Clarke’s room had already been moved to another room, and another one wouldn’t be arriving for a week. After sitting in a comfortable silence for the past hour or so, they had finally decided to sleep, and that’s where the trouble started. 

“Fine.”

Lexa gathered up her pillow and blanket from the makeshift bed she had made on the wooden floor and slunk over to the bed, piling them on. She slumped face down on the bed before turning to smooth out her blanket and rolling to lay on her side, facing away from Clarke. 

Clarke lay facing Lexa, eyes tracing the curls in her hair the braids had left. Clarke realised with a pang this was the first time she had seen Lexa with her hair down, physically not metaphorically. Although now she thought about it, probably both. Clarke wondered absently if she’d ever get to know the girl behind the Commander over these six weeks, or maybe she simply was only the Commander. Even talking about her parents, the girl had been reserved, closed from Clarke. But she chose not to believe that it was all she was. 

“Do you ever just, you know, relax, loosen up a little?”

Lexa let out another sigh and rolled to face Clarke. Obviously she wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight. 

“It’s late. You should sleep.”

“And what about you?”

“I’ll sleep when you fall asleep.”

“Lexa, come on. Do you never like party or anything, let go for a minute?”

Lexa stared at Clarke, her viridescent eyes searching Clarke’s face. Her eyebrows creased slightly, remembering. Something flashed behind those beautiful eyes. 

“When I came here, I was 12 and I was the Commander. To the novices and instructors and even the Moroi, I was Heda. Since then, no, I haven’t. I stay focused. It’s what’s best.” 

“But why? Why are you the Commander I mean? Like I get you fight like a god-“ Clarke cut herself off, spluttering before moving onto her back to avoid having to look at Lexa. 

Lexa stayed in silence for a moment. Clarke could feel the rising and falling of her chest, mark the curves of her body that lay next to her. As an artist, Clarke could appreciate the way the dim light for the curtain created a silhouette halo around Lexa. As an artist. 

Finally, she spoke. “I had been at Polis Academy since I was two years old. It was all I had ever known. And one day, there was an attack. The wards were broken, and no one even knew. No alarms warned us, we knew nothing. We didn’t even think it was possible but the Strigoi had managed to radicalise a Moroi to break the wards with a promise of turning him into one of them. They came in the middle of the night, and since it was only Dhampirs there, we were all asleep. The alarms sounded too late for most of us to escape.”

Lexa stares at the ceiling for a moment, gathering her thoughts. She inhaled softly, then she carried on in a whisper, “eight of the novices were taken. Everyone in my class. The worst part was the Strigoi didn’t even kill them. They didn’t have that mercy. They were turned instead. I fought beside them and the instructors, fighting for my life but not enough for their’s. They were all taken with three of the instructors too. When dawn came it was only me and two of the instructors left.”

Lexa’s eyes closed. Her breathing remained steady but the slight wobble in her whisper did not go unnoticed by Clarke. But Clarke couldn’t interrupt her, daren't breathe a word whilst the girl beside her cracked just a little bit open. 

“We didn’t know if they were going to turn them or feed on them, so I proposed a rescue mission for the next day, and the instructors agreed but only after back up arrived. By then it was too late, they had already been turned. I killed five of them and three other Strigoi. They all died. Only I survived,” the break in her voice echoed through the silent room, and Clarke’s heart broke with it. She cleared her voice, “I should’ve died. I thought I did. But I survived. So I became the Commander - the last Commander.”

Clarke turned her head to look at Lexa. Her eyes glistened with tears , but only one escaped, tumbled down her cheek like a shooting star. Clarke reached in the covers to grasp Lexa’s hand, feeling a squeeze back. She had no words. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“It is not your fault. It is my burden to bare. And I will. To feel the grief would be a weakness. So I don’t. But I keep my guard up because I refuse to let history repeat itself. I will die to protect, yes, but I will also live to protect. To protect you.” Her eyes glided to Clarke’s, as if to show her sincerity. Clarke already knew. She just wished it wasn’t true. 

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Lexa whispered. 

Clarke stayed silent. 

“Goodnight, Lexa,” she whispered back, but Lexa’s breathing had already evened out. 

***

The next morning, Clarke woke curled in the middle of the bed, facing out. Although she couldn’t see the other girl, she could feel her arm pressed slightly against her back, her steady breathing calming against the darkness. 

Only then did Clarke realise her headache had disappeared, along with the empty pit in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting there, we’re getting there. Sorry this is a bit short and late, again I have exams so over the next few weeks they might be a bit later than usually. But thank you anyway for reading and please feel free to comment anything! As always, your kudos/comments make my day x


	6. His Majesty the King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King visits and Clarke spirals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long but it’s here now! Exams are over for at least another month so I should be back to my normal schedule after this. Enjoy!

Clarke was slightly embarrassed at her performance issues. Okay, very embarrassed. Even her healing abilities proved to be rusty. She was used to the frustration at her inability to produce any effective Spirit magic, but at least with Jackson he was here to mentor her and understood how hard it could be to harness any magic, never mind Spirit. With an audience, however, it was even more embarrassing. Even if it was an audience of one. 

Lexa stood, spine straight and statue still, by the door of the classroom. After following her from lesson to lesson in maths, English and history all morning, they had finally reached Clarke’s private lessons in Spirit. She had bode her friends goodbye at lunch (along at their respective Novices), silently wishing she could specialise in any other magic, to attend another full afternoon of wasted time spent concentrated on ineffective methods. At least her headaches seem to have subsided for the past week, and the darkness that enveloped her no longer seemed so consuming. She had been using magic like normal, and only yesterday had she began to feel a slight pressure on the side of her head. It was bearable. 

“Maybe we should just try something else? You’ve been trying for weeks to master auras, maybe we should take another root?” Jackson offered. They had spent the last week compiling reading resources and materials to study in an effort to help advance Clarke’s magic, but every single account of Spirit seemed as unique as the last. It was impossible to grasp an understanding of the magic when it’s never the same. There were accounts of a few Moroi that could heal living things like Clarke, but they provided little insight into how to develop that or morph it into something else. Why couldn’t she just specialise in fire instead? How hard could it be to light a candle and put it back out? At least she hadn’t been practicing as much, so Lexa hadn’t seen how spectacularly bad she was at her own magic. Until now. 

“What else do you suggest we try? I can go down to medical and see if any Dhampirs need patching up?” Clarke lit up at the thought. It had been a long time since she’d healed anything, with the exception of an odd withered plant or broken wing as she wondered the gardens. And at least she knew she could do that. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t jump straight in to testing on students?” Jackson quickly suggested, alarm bells of health and safety probably ringing in his head. “How about charming? Have you tried infusing an object with Spirit yet? This is often a common thing student learn early on after they specialise, as at some point in their lives they may have to charm a stake for Guardians.”

Clarke paled at the thought. She could feel a bead of sweat gather at the nape of her neck. She could not - would not - charm objects. Not after what she knew, and what could happen. 

“I’d rather not.”

“Come on Clarke, you can’t be afraid to fail or you’ll never get anywhere.”

“I’m not afraid to fail, or have you forgotten the past three weeks where I’ve been able to do fuck all in these lessons,” Clarke countered, fighting the urge to shout. 

“We can go back to auras in another few weeks, I’m just suggesting we try infusing-“

“I’m not charming or infusing anything. Just leave it,” she snapped. Clarke instantly regretted it. He didn’t understand, hell she barely understood the implications of what she could do if she charmed an object. But she wasn’t going to risk her life if anyone else found out, or certainly not Jackson’s life. And definitely not Lexa’s if she saw too. She’d already lost so much because of this. Clarke pushed that out of her mind. She would not dwell on that. 

“Sorry, I’m just-“

“It’s okay, Clarke, really we can try something el-“

A blaring ring came over the school speakers, followed by static noise. Clarke looked over at Jackson then at Lexa, both faces mirroring her confused visage. Then a smooth voice sounded over the speaker. 

“Students, I am please to announce an unplanned visit here at the Academy. Please could all students make their way to the assembly hall shortly to welcome King Jaha and his company warmly and politely like I know you all will. And please remember to act courteously and bow if approached by the King. Thank you,” Kane’s voice faded out after a few seconds of static. 

Clarke’s heart dropped through the floor. 

Jaha was here. She had to face him. She hadn’t seen anyone from court since her return, never mind the prestigious king himself. She silently prayed no one else from court was here escorting him, her mother definitely wasn’t or she’d certainly already be here lecturing Clarke. Jaha was threatening enough. She just hoped he’d be too occupied with his son and the other students to notice her. 

She glanced over to where Lexa was still diligently stood. Her stoic facade gave no indication as to her opinion of the King or his visit. It wasn’t uncommon for the monarch to be unpopular amongst Dhampirs as they never had a say on the election of their ruler, only had to obey the votes of the Moroi. Still, Lexa’s complexion did not betray her. 

“Well okay girls, I guess your dismissed for now,” Jackson leaned back in his chair, checking his phone, “I guess I’ll see you in there.”

At that, Clarke rose from her chair and joined Lexa at the door. Lexa gave her a tight smile before opening the door for her and following her out. The hallway outside was a rush of people, teenagers excitedly babbling at the chance to be a royal. You’d think the fact that there are five - well technically four - royals actually attending the Academy would make the novelty wear off, but apparently not. Clarke knew her best tactic was to blend in with the crowd, not draw attention to herself. She would do whatever she could do avoid a conversation with the King. 

The sea of teenager swept Lexa and Clarke along with them, heading towards the main hall that was reserved for special occasions. Whereas the rest of the school was fairly modern - florescent lights, Wi-Fi, modern ‘art’ that Clarke could’ve painted when she was four - the Grand Hall look liked it had just been stripped off a European castle in then 15th century. Today, it was filled with rows of plastic black chairs that contrasted the fading tapestries hung on the wall and the candle chandelier dangling from the ceiling. At the front, a large stage dominated the room. Clarke had never been the Grand Hall before, had no reason to. However, she was perplexed at the decor. Her eyes caught the masterpiece of the Hall at the very front behind the stage; a vast stain glass window the size of the wall. It depicted a Moroi and a Dhampir holding hands in a circle in a field beneath a setting sun. The Dhampir’s head was bowed, and Clarke couldn’t be sure but it looked like the Moroi was weeping. Around their joined hands seem to glow brighter colours. She could imagine it during the day, how the glass cast beams of crimson, gold and magenta onto the hall floor, how the jade light of the field reflected beautifully against the back wall. It was breathtaking as it was. 

Clarke turned back, meeting Lexa’s face. Naturally, they would separate here. Moroi has their own section to sit in closer to the front and so, with a nod goodbye, she left Lexa to find her place. She instantly felt lost in the crowd as she watched Lexa weave in and out of people to find her seat. Clarke turned back, standing on her toes to try to find her friends. She spotted the top of Bellamy’s head and followed it to the front of the Hall. Right to the front. So much for blending in and keeping her head down. 

***

Lexa made her way to the Dhampir section behind all the Moroi. The Hall was massive; it fit the whole student body in it, including the junior school. Kids of all ages craned their necks in search for the royals. It wasn’t everyday that anyone from court came to visit, never mind the king himself, despite his son attending the Academy for years. Lexa didn’t understand the excitement. He was just one guy - a guy that sat at court all day with barely anything to show for it. If he had at least accomplished something in all his time on the throne maybe Lexa would feel differently, but he was yet to earn her admiration or even her respect. And, okay yeah, maybe she was a bit biased against him considering Dhampirs had no say in his election and he was notorious for seeing them as second class citizens. Typical entitled Moroi. 

A hush rippled through the crowd as Kane walked on stage. Sometimes, Lexa thought, everyone forgot he was royal too, grew up in the same court as Jaha did. Yet again, so did Clarke and she wasn’t half as ostentatious as Jaha. But Clarke was raised a Princess, never meant to take the crown but leave it to her mother. 

“Please rise for His Majesty, King Jaha,” Kane announced, followed by applause from the rows of students and teachers. Even the Guardians that lined the walls of the hall removed their hands from their sides and clapped slowly. Lexa smiled internally as she watched Indra, reluctant as ever, try not to roll her eyes. She guessed Jaha wasn’t popular amongst any Dhampirs, not just her. 

At the back of the hall, the huge double doors swung open. At once, everyone’s head swivelled around, like it was a bride walking down the aisle. Applause faded to excited chatter, cheers and shouts to the King. A small procession of Guardians marched out first, wearing the royal seal on their black blazers over their normal uniform of black. There was a time Lexa dreamt of being part of the Royal Guard, of being part of something important. Now she realised that, as a Dhampir, that was impossible. The King emerged next, donning a white shirt and grey waistcoat. He was followed by a number of other royals, some of which Lexa recognised only from formalities she had been through on occasion. Jaha moves into the room, like he was taking a leisurely stroll. Of course, he quickly moved through the Novices’ section, giving a nod and a smile here and there. Considering these were the children that had a strong possibility of losing their lives to protect his subjects, he really did not spend a lot of time thanking them. Lexa was well aware that he saw Dhampirs as nothing more than illegitimate children of Moroi but they deserved some respect, especially the children from the junior school. 

When he reached the Moroi section, he paused longer to shake hands and actually spoke to a few students. It was a big deal to be acknowledged, although mostly it was because their parents had helped his campaign somehow. Jaha worked the crowd like a professional, completely in his element. When he reached the front of the hall, he grasped Wells’ hand firmly, bringing his other hand up to clap him on the back. Quiet greetings were exchanged from father to son before he released his grip and moved along the front row. 

Lexa saw him shake hands with Bellamy and Monty, no doubt hoping they would mention it to their parents; he may be king but the council of royals held the power to make decisions too. Lexa tensed when she saw he had reached Clarke. Clarke hadn’t said anything specifically, but Lexa had sensed the panic of the other girl as soon as she heard the announcement, seen her skin lose its colour and cerulean eyes goes wide. As she watched, the king pulled her into a gentle handshake, bending to put his lips next to her ear. Obviously Lexa couldn’t decipher what he was whispering, but by the straightening of her back and her recoil, she guessed what Clarke had been afraid of just happened. No one else seemed to have noticed, all eyes glued to the king and not the runaway princess. Lexa felt her fists clenched at the side. She knew it was none of her business of course, but she wouldn’t blame herself for being protective over her charge. She was just protective. 

After Jaha’s excessive entrance, he ascended the steps at the front of the stage and took his position at the centre. He looked calm despite the hundreds of eyes watching him intently. Lexa felt Lincoln, who was stood next to her, become fidgety with impatience, no doubt seeing the pointlessness of this all too. 

“Please sit,” he said with a wave of his hand. “It is my honour to be here today, standing in front of the the future,” Jaha began, his eyes roaming over the Moroi. “I am here confirming the final preparations for the Unity Day Ball that, this year, will be held here at St Vladimir’s Academy.”

A buzz built through the crowd. The Unity Day Ball moved around each year, but never had it been held at the Academy before. The thought of it made Lexa groan internally. The entirety of the Royal Court and more all staying at St Vladimir’s? It was only going to cause unnecessary problems and drama, drama that Lexa tried to avoid where possible. Moroi politics was all false facades and polite back stabbing, nothing could be done efficiently because each one was just trying to hold on to their own scrap of power. And now they were bringing it here. She caught Anya, who had not been paying attention but at least had enough sense to figure out what was going on, mimic a gun shot to her head. It summed up Lexa’s feelings perfectly, but she sat as still as always, her whole body trained to remain motionless and a bored expression plastered on her face. With over a hundred Moroi visiting, the Novices would look to her on how to behave and react. She had to show them that this was their home, nothing would change for the one week they were here. 

“I look forward to seeing you all there,” Jaha continued over the dim noise. Kane shot them looks from where he stood at the side of the stage. “I can hardly wait to meet the future of this kingdom. After all, you all make up the future, and although on Unity Day we celebrate past events, it serves as a reminder for the future that we are we are one.”

Lexa couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to only be talking to the Moroi. The Dhampirs didn’t get so much of a passing glance. 

Jaha continues to drone on, the Lexa could tell by the shuffling behind her that most of the Novices had stopped listening. They may all be trained to stand in silence for hours at a time, but usually they were always waiting and watching for danger. Not to mention, many hadn’t even began actual guardian training and instead were used to being active, fighting and running and training. Sitting still and listening to royals spew pretty nonsense was a Moroi’s job. 

“... and finally I would like to welcome back one of our beloved Princesses, Clarke Griffin. Clarke, stand up for us,” Jaha’s eyes gleamed under the lights on stage a she looked down at Clarke. Lexa’s fingers curled around the edge of her chair as she felt heads swivel to where Clarke sat. It was unprecedented for someone to just be called out in the middle of an assembly - let alone by the King. To Clarke’s credit, she rose steadily out of her chair to face the King. 

“After your, um, exciting excursions of the past year, I say on behalf of the court that we are glad you are back safe. We hope you settle in here at the wonderful Academy and learn valuable lessons for the wise tutors here before returning to court,” his words were sweet, if a bit patronising but they sent a shiver down Lexa’s spine. This was her to set off rolling rumours of Clarke again, just as they had started to calm down after her arrival. 

“We still deeply mourn your father’s passing there. He truly was a valuable asset to the entire Moroi community and we are so sad he is gone. We can only hope you are able to live up to his name, and take on your rightful duties of a Princess that you have neglected this past year,” Jaha’s words cut deep. Lexa’s eyes were trained in Clarke, who refused to even flinch under the King’s words. Lexa could practically feel the embarrassment and horror that would be running through her head right now, humiliated in front of the entire school. 

Jaha finished his speech, switching from subtly ripping into Clarke to pleasant farewells. The students stood once more as he descended the stairs of the stage, clapping and twisting to watch his stride out of the hall down the aisle. The King didn’t stop once this time, gliding out of the room surrounded by the applause of children. 

Out if the corner of her eye, Lexa noticed Clarke calmly slip away from the crowd that had surged forward to watch the King go. She pushed through the crowd and snuck out the side door that lead to an alley outside. Lexa hesitated for only a second before wading her way through the crowd the follow her. To protect her, of course. She was her charge after all. She got caught between streams of students who had descended on one another, hurrying to gossip about the Unity Day Ball or no doubt laugh about the disgraced runaway Princes. Order had been lost, and Lexa found she had to push to cross the hall floor to get to the door. 

By the time she reached the alley, Clarke was no where in sight. Lexa headed out the alley and scanned the grounds for a small silhouette. Nothing. Clarke must’ve began to run as soon as she left. But where did she go? Lexa knew she like the fields that surrounded the school, liked to escape as far from the buildings as she could sometimes. Over the past few days she had been guarding Clarke, she often found her gravitating towards the outside al,OST as if her whole life she had been trapped I said. She sprinted towards the gardens, deciding it would take too long to circle the whole grounds and they were quite close. 

Wind rushed in her face as Lexa searched under the night sky, finally reaching the small winding pathways of the gardens. She ran through the trees, ducking and swerving as she left the path, skipping over roots and broken branches. Her eyes scanned the shadows for Clarke’s figure but there was nothing. Where was she?

Lexa abandoned the search of the gardens in favour of looking in the dorms. She figured that’s Clarke’s next safest space, although Lexa has invaded it a few days ago. She felt bad, barging into Clarke’s life and moving in to her room, despite neither of them having a choice. 

She dashed to the Moroi dorms, opening the door and hurdling upstairs. If any bring, this was a well needed excuse to run free after not having time to train over the past few days. Not that she was complaining, Clarke was t neatly as insufferable to shadow as some Moroi, but she still missed drills and actually fighting as opposed to standing and watching. Her time would come, she supposed. 

When Lexa finally reached her room, she flung the door open. A gasp was torn from her mouth. 

The room looked like a hurricane had swept through it. Pages had been ripped out of books, drawers flung open, picture frames smacked in the floor and spots of blood on the carpet. And in the middle knelt Clarke, her hands pressed against her eyes and her body wracked with sobs. 

Lexa was paralysed in the doorway. And then she ran. Ran towards Clarke and dropped to her knees next her, bring her arms around the girl. She didn’t care if the glass cut her legs, all she could think about was this girl who knelt crying in front her of. 

Clarke leant into Lexa, her body heaving unevenly. Lexa let her, her arms encircling her as Clarke’s head moved to rest against a Lexa’s chest. They knelt like that for a couple minutes, Lexa’s thumb stroking Clarke’s arm, her sobs the only noise that filled the room. 

Finally, Clarke picked herself up, moving away from Lexa. She rubbed her red eyes, her breaths still uneven. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll clean it up, god, Lexa you’re gonna cut yourself,” Clarke heaved before lifted herself up onto her knees, eyes widening at the sharp glass that surrounded them on the floor. Lexa only shushed her. 

“It’s okay - Clarke look at me, it’s okay,” Lexa reaches out to clasp Clarke’s hands in her own, hands that we’re trying to pick up glass shards scattered around them. Clarke’s hands began to recoil before she gave up and they lay slack in Lexa’s. 

“I’m sorry, I just got-“

“Shh, Clarke, it’s fine, you’re okay.”

“But the room-“

“Don’t worry about it, just breathe,” Lexa could still feel the frantic hyperventilating of Clarke’s chest next to her. She could feel the effort it took Clarke to slow her breaths, her eyes squeezed shut. 

“Sorry, I just kinda freaked out about what happened, before.”

“It’s fine, Clarke, do not apologise. Are you okay?”

Clarke huffed out a laugh and Lexa immediately cursed herself. Obviously she wasn't okay. 

“It happens all the time. Hasn’t in a while but I guess it all just built up into one massive one, you know? With the King and everything it just set me off and I don’t even remember wrecking the room properly, I’m sorry...” Clarke trailed off, eyes refusing to meet Lexa’s emerald ones. 

“What did he say to you?” Lexa asked, remembering how he had leaned into Clarke to sneer something at her. Clarke just shook her head. More tears rolled down her cheeks, and Lexa found herself reaching up to wipe them before she remembered herself. She would’ve caught those tiny stars as they tumbled down her cheeks, and made a wish for happiness. But it wasn’t Lexa’s place to. 

“He-“ Clarke began, before shaking her head again, “it doesn’t matter.”

“Clarke.”

“He threatened me.”

“What?” Lexa hadn’t expected that. Insulted or scolded maybe, but threatened? Her fists curled into a ball for not the first time today. 

“Something... happened. Before I ran away. He said if I wasn’t careful I’d end up like my dad.”

A thousand different images flashed through Lexa’s mind before Clarke could interrupt her. 

“I know something that I shouldn’t, and so did my dad. He’s dead because of it, and if they could get away with it I would be right there beside him six feet under. I’m not there yet, but...” she took a breath, “anyone who knows is in danger. I won’t tell you, I won’t let them have an excuse.”

“Them? The king killed your dad?” Lexa vaguely remembered the announcement that Prince Jake Griffin had died in a car accident just over a year ago. She had watched as high status Moroi wore black and prattled on about the tragedy. She had also stood by as they whispered that he never really suited the royal life, having only marries into a royal family. She had found it all a bit dramatic considering most students here had never even met him, but she had never spared a thought for the mourning daughter of the Prince. She hadn’t known. 

“Not directly. But I know it wasn’t an accident, and Jaha knows that I know that. But who would believe a disgraced Princess over the King himself?” A cold laugh escaped her lips. 

“I would.”

A sad smile painted itself across Clarke’s face. “It’s doesn’t matter now anyway. And you can’t breathe a word about this. Promise me, Lexa, promise me you won’t say anything,” Clarke reached out to squeeze Lexa’s hand again, finally looking at her from where she knelt next to Clarke. 

“I promise, Clarke,” she whispered, “now come on, we’ll get cleaned up.”

Lexa stood up, tugging Clarke up with her. She turned, surveying the destruction Clarke had done in such a short space of time. Clarke blushed at the mess. In her blind rage and anxiety, she had torn the room to shreds, knocking over everything in sight and more. 

Lexa’s eyes caught a shimmer of gold on the floor. She bent down to pick it up, realising it was the wooden box containing her necklace that she left in Clarke’s possession. The delicate wood carvings were still perfectly shaped, no damaged done. But from what she knew, Clarke should be wearing the necklace. She looked at her questioningly. 

“I put it back when you were in the shower a few days ago. I felt bad wearing it when I knew how much it meant to you.”

Wordlessly, Lexa motioned for Clarke to turn around. She reached around Clarke’s neck and fixed the clasp on the necklace over her again. 

“I meant it when I said I wanted you to have it. Keep it, please,” Lexa’s breath was warm against Clarke’s neck. Clarke only nodded, knowing privately that she would probably never take it off ever again. 

“Now, I’ll fine some tweezers and we can try to get any glass out of your hands and legs and then we can clean up. Deal?” Lexa stared at Clarke until she gave a weak nod. Clarke’s heart had finally started to slow, no longer feeling like it was actively trying to escape her rib cage. She knew she had just dumped something huge on Lexa, but somehow she hadn’t wavered. Maybe she would be okay. Maybe they both would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I guess the story is properly starting to develop now, but if you have any suggestions or just anything you want to see don’t hesitate to comment! An thank you so much for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one x


	7. Birthday Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Lexa’s birthday, and Clarke is determined to celebrate even just a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of my birthday, I thought I’d write a small chapter. It’s not very long, but I still hope you enjoy. Also, two chapters in two days??? Who is she

Clarke stirred from her restless sleep and instantly knew something was wrong. 

Her eyes shot open, but she was still in her room, tucked in her bed. Dim light streamed into the room through the curtains tinting the room in a reddish glow. Clarke groaned. She just wanted to sleep. 

She twisted around, careful to not pull any of the covers down from where they were snuggled against her neck. She squinted her eyes to glare at the clock on the table next to the bed, trying to open her eyes as little as possible in the hopes that she could just doze back to sleep easily. 1:27pm glowed in neon red letters. Clarke groaned again. 

It was at exactly this point that Clarke realised what was wrong. She turned over again, this time sitting up to discover the other half of the bed was neatly made. There was no figure curled beside her, no other movement where the steady rising and falling of breaths should be. Clarke strained to hear any movements from the bathroom, but there was nothing. 

“Lexa?” Her voice croaked, still thick from sleep. Only silence answered. 

Bracing herself for the cold, Clarke yanked the covers off her legs and pushed herself out of bed. Why wasn’t Lexa here in the middle of the night? Okay, yes, it was daytime but curfew had been hours ago. She slouched over to the wardrobe, pulling out a hoodie and sweat pants that she pulled on over her pyjamas. She noticed Lexa’s training sweats were missing, her half of the wardrobe even emptier than usual. 

Despite Lexa’s very little amount of possessions, her presence was all over the room. From Clarke’s books stacked meticulously in a pile on the desk to three of four candle scattered around the room, Clarke had only now begun to notice the change. The fact that she had to go into the wardrobe to pull out a hoodie instead of it being discarded on the floor or over a chair was a miracle. She just hoped Lexa felt like this was her own room too. 

Clarke decided it was probably smart to look in the training arena for her. She couldn’t place why she went to look, instead of just going back to sleep like she should’ve done. But Lexa has been there for her last night after her melt down about Jaha. She hasn’t meant to breakdown or tell Lexa anything even if it was only a little, and guilt filled her over leaving that burden on the brunette. Maybe she disappeared because she needed a little alone time after shadowing Clarke for a week? The thought itself made Clarke hesitate in the doorway before leaving. But it didn’t stop her, she just needed to check on Lexa. 

She snuck through the hall and down the stairs of the dorms, pausing to check if anyone was on night duty at the front desk. Clarke recognised the Guardian posted there, but fortunately he was turned away from the cameras on the screen. Out the back door it was. 

Clarke crept across the field, sun shining despite the winter season. It was chilly, but the mid-afternoon sun provided some warmth and only a little discomfort to Clarke. Still, she yanked her hood over the head and hurried towards the training arena. 

Everywhere was deserted, but Clarke wasn’t surprised to hear noise from outside the training arena. Inside, a lone figure stood in the centre of the hall, repeatedly hitting and kicking a bag twice the size of her. She danced on her toes, grunting as the top of the foot smacked the black bag, sending it swinging. She was, for once, unaware of Clarke’s presence, continuing to hit the bag with her wrapped up fists, facing away from Clarke. 

Clarke blinked in surprise as she noticed a spiralling tattoo peeking out of Lexa’s tank top. She had noticed the small infinity loop at the base of her neck on the second night Lexa stayed. She hadn’t asked about it and Lexa had offered no story behind. But now Clarke spotted more ink at the top of Lexa’s back, probably extending all the way down her spine. She couldn’t make out much of it except two thin lines emerging from what looked like the top of a circle. She wondered what the whole piece looked like, drawn down Lexa’s back. 

Clarke stepped further into the arena and cleared her throat. It took all of 0.2 seconds for Lexa to turn around, guard up. She immediately lowered her hands when she processed who was standing behind her. Clarke was left to stand awkwardly at the edge of the mats. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry, you were gone when I woke up and I didn’t know where...” Clarke trailed off, not really knowing where she was going with that. 

“Clarke, I didn’t realise you were there.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude, I just - you were gone so I thought I’d just check, not that you need me to check on you or anything.” She was rambling now. 

“It’s fine, I was just training. I haven’t in while so,” Lexa began to unwind the black supports wrapped around her knuckles and wrists, strolling over to where Clarke stood. She flexed her fingers a few times. Purple, blue and yellow bruises stained her knuckles, both fresh and old. Clarke reached out for Lexa’s hand. 

“Here, let me,” she looked up at Lexa questioningly, and the other girl gave her the briefest of nods. Without thinking, Clarke closed her eyes and let her magic flow through her, right from her core, past her finger tips and into Lexa’s. She could feel the warm glow of Spirit fill her in a way that hadn’t done in a while. The magic brushed her arms and spilled out, simultaneously wild and controlled. Clarke had missed the way it felt like fire warmly licked her bones, not excruciating but rather comforting. She had missed healing.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Lexa looking straight at her. Though her face betrayed nothing, her eyes were wide. Not with shock, something more. Clarke didn’t dwell on it. 

“Thank you,” Lexa murmured. 

“Not a problem. Why are you even up at this time? I get you wanted to train but shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Shouldn’t you be too?”

Clarke didn’t have a comeback for that. She hadn’t been sleeping well and at least looking for Lexa gave her something to do. And she had wanted to check on her. Not to make sure she was safe or anything, just to check Clarke hadn’t freaked her out earlier. 

“It’s my birthday,” Lexa practically whisper after a long pause. No one else was around, not even in the same building, but she said it like it was one of her most precious secrets. Clarke couldn’t help but smile. “It’s weird, I don’t know, but on my birthday I like to stay awake. The whole day, I don’t sleep for one second of my birthday. I’ve done it since I can remember, I don’t know why, but it’s weird,” she huffed out a sigh, glancing away from Clarke. Now she was rambling. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She knew the answer before Lexa could reply. It just wasn’t her, and it was probable that no one knew it was her birthday. “Come on, we can celebrate. I’ll stay up with you,” an idea formed in her head before she quickly added, “only if you want.”

“If you’re sure,” she said, this time her lips failing her as they turned slightly upwards. 

With that, Clarke led Lexa out of the training arena and across the grounds. Both girls squinted in the bright sunlight, still unused to the daytime. When they reached the dorms again, Clarke made Lexa wait outside for a few minutes before gesturing for her to come on silently. 

***

“Just when I thought I would actually enjoy these few weeks with you, just as I thought we could be friends, you do this. You’re disgusting, vile. I can’t even look at you right now!”

“Clarke, I’m sorry. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Not that big a deal? It’s monstrous, Lexa!”

“Don’t you think you’re over reacting just a bit?”

“Over reacting? Over reacting! I’m not reacting enough!”

“Clarke, please, I said I was sorry, it’s just who I am.”

“Who you are? You can change, Lexa,”

“Clarke-“

“But this isn’t normal. Putting butter on toast before Nutella is not normal, is disgusting.”

The girls erupted into light laughter as they lounged on their chairs, Lexa shooting Clarke mock glares from where she sat beside her. Somehow, they were sat on the roof of the Moroi dorms, both wrapped in blankets and hands cupping hot chocolates. Clarke had appeared at the doorway of the dorms carrying bundles of blankets at a plastic bag full of food she had raided from the dorm pantry. It mostly consisted of crisps, sweets and fruit with the added bonus of freshly made hot chocolate and toast. And then the argument had begun. 

“You’re entitled to your own opinion, all I’m saying is that it tastes better if you put butter on it first,” Lexa defended. 

“No, it tastes wrong. Nutella is a spread and why the hell would you put two spreads on one slice of toast?”

“Because - no, I’m not doing this again. You have it your way but I will not be judged for doing it my way,” Lexa pointedly turned away from Clarke, ceremoniously stuffing the toast into her mouth. Clarke giggled. 

She was sat under a parasol, unusual giving the cold temperatures but she found it kept at least most of the sun’s irritating effects at bay. Lexa, however, lazed in the sun, her ash brown hair catching honey highlights in the light. 

Clarke laughed to herself, making Lexa open one eye to glare at her. 

“I just don’t think I’ve seen you slouch on a chair yet. Even when you sleep, you seem on high alert,” she chuckled again to herself. 

Lexa only hummed, not bothering to answer Clarke. She stretched her arms out as if to welcome the rays of sunlight. If Clarke were to take a picture, it would almost look like it was the middle of summer. Clarke almost wished she could take a picture. Lexa soon wrapped her arms back under the blanket, her tank top offering her no insulation what so ever. 

“I got something else for you,” Clarke grinned, reaching down to the plastic bag at her feet. She straightened up holding two cookies, both with chocolate stars stuck to them with Nutella. Lexa counted the stars. Eighteen. Another smile brushed her lips. 

“Happy birthday! Sorry there was no candles in the pantry, the stars were the best I could do.” 

“Please just don’t start singing. I’ll either jump off the roof or throw you off, depending on how awful you sing it,” Lexa mused. She was touched at Clarke’s gesture, even if it had been put together in two minutes. Every year, she let her birthday slide past, even if it was the one day a year she allowed Anya to hug her. And Anya only knew because she had stolen everyone’s school files when they were thirteen. It was... nice, to have someone wish her happy birthday even if it felt so very strange. 

“That’s dramatic, even for you,” Clarke quipped, throwing Lexa a smirk. Lexa only threw an empty candy wrapper back at her. Not that Lexa would ever admit it, but she did have a flare for dramatics in her own way. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both enjoying the serene view. From the roof, they could see right over the thick viridescent forests to the towering mountains, bright snow capping them. Birds chirped and darted here and there, probably not happy about the cool temperature themselves. Neither girl seemed to mind though, both happily wrapped up. 

“I really miss Starbucks, you know. They could at least get less shitty coffee here. And Reese’s cups. Why don’t they have Reese’s cups here? They even had them at court, but apparently Vladimir is too good for peanut butter,” Clarke mumbled to herself. “I’m gonna die if I don’t get decent chocolate soon.”

“Now who’s the dramatic one?” Lexa replied, a coy smile flickering on her face. Clarke scowled back at her. 

The truth was, Clarke was making conversation because she knew that this was the most unguarded Lexa had been all week. She was slouching - yes, slouching - in her chair, eyes closed, not a single muscle tense. Maybe it was because it was her birthday, or because everyone else was asleep, but Lexa had loosened the grip she held on herself every minute of every day just a fraction. Even over the past week when they had been alone, she had still maintained the Guardian mask that enveloped her entire body, only slipping when she slept. Clarke thought it was a miracle, just to see her lips turn upwards in a small smile. She knew when the sun set, Lexa’s walls would rise. 

The girls sat there for hours, alternating between enjoying the silence and chatting about absolutely nothing. Neither mentioned the day before, steering clear of Jaha and talk of Moroi and Dhampirs entirely. Clarke told stories of her year away and Lexa recounted stories of her old academy as well as Anya and Lincoln at St Vladimir’s. It felt too soon for both girls when they had to slip back inside and prepare for a new day. Both of them were determined not to let the exhaustion of staying up all night show, and they went about their day as usual, if only for sharing a few secrets looks (it was all Clarke could do not to burst out laughing as soon as she saw Lincoln the next day, vivid images flashing through her mind of him climbing too high in a tree only to get scared and refuse to scramble down for an hour when they were twelve. He would kill Lexa if he found out she had told Clarke - or at least he could try).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’ll be back on normal length chapters at normal times after this x


	8. Trial Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s first trial

Waking up next to Lexa had become the norm, but it still felt so new to Clarke. They had both given up demanding a second bed for the room after a week and had accepted that it will arrive when it arrives, unless they themselves wanted to dismantle Lexa’s old one and move it into their room. They had both declined that offer. Still, the feeling of waking up and even just getting ready with someone else was both unfamiliar and... comforting that was difficult to explain. It was nice to know she wasn’t alone. 

By now, they had established a routine; the alarm would go off, Clarke would throw something at it, it would miss, Lexa would get up to turn it off and go to shower, Clarke would stay in bed, Lexa would get ready, Clarke would stay in bed, eventually Lexa would throw that something back at Clarke to get her up, and then Clarke would get ready whilst Lexa braided her own hair. She had offered to braid Clarke’s a few times, but with Clarke’s habit of not getting up, they never had time. 

Today was no different. They walked across campus field, towards the canteen for breakfast. They were actually early for once - or earlier than usual. They walked in silence, Clarke strolling with Lexa next to her, who gripped a blunt silver stake, forever the guardian-in-training. 

Clarke turned to Lexa, opening her mouth about to comment, when Lexa grabbed her and shoved the princess behind her. Clarke let out a gasp at the sudden movement before spotting the reason for Lexa’s hasty defence position. At the exact same time, a Guardian came stalking round the corner, a steel spear gripped in both hands. He wore a red vest over his normal black uniform and it clicked in Clarke’s mind. That was the sign to say he was in role as Strigoi. This was one of Lexa’s tests. 

“Get on the floor, Clarke, and do as I say. Stay there,” she spoke low and clear. She had realised instantly what this was and relaxed her grip on Clarke’s wrist that allowed her to drop to the floor. Lexa’s head snapped to look behind her, spotting another figure clad in red stalking towards them. And then another. Three Guardian Strigio against one Novice. It wasn’t fair, Clarke thought, but Lexa had to win to stand a chance of passing. Her entire future was on the line. 

Lexa ripped out another stake from a strap on her thigh and crouched into a defensive position. There was three of them coming from different directions, and she dared not move away from Clarke or one would snatch her. She couldn’t attack, her only option being to go on the defensive. It’s wasn’t ideal, but Lexa knew she could handle it. 

The first man they spotted advanced purposefully slower than the others. He was extremely tall, his shoulders square and his hair pulled back to reveal a scar above his left eyebrow. Roan. He was a fairly new addition to the faculty and she was yet to fight him, but that didn’t stop Lexa’s heart from pounding - not with fear, but with excitement. She couldn’t help it. 

Lexa turned instead to face the woman who was closest, recognising the circular green ink against dark skin anywhere - Indra. She had fought Indra countless times throughout her training, could anticipate every move she would make, but that didn’t mean her speed and agility was any less deadly. Indra had trained her since she first arrived at St Vladimir’s and even before that, but she never failed to impress Lexa. Indra darted forwards, brandishing a long sword. It was longer than Lexa’s stake, so Lexa would have to disarm her before she could strike effectively. 

Metal clashed with metal only feet away from where Clarke lay flat on the floor. It would be harder for any of the ‘Strigoi’ to grab her from down there, but it was all she could do just to peek up at the battle scene unfolding before her. Lexa sprung to meet Indra’s blow, the metal sword sliding against the silver stake. With a battle cry, Indra jumped, her blade aimed right where Lexa’s heart should be. But Lexa had twisted to the side, catching Indra in the back and using her momentum from the jump to push her forward. Indra stumbled but regained her balance quickly to turn back to Lexa, sword already raised again. It was a battle of speed, both Dhampirs darting in and out of range, slashing and blocking and swerving away. Clarke could barely keep up and she was just watching. 

At this moment, the third Guardian they saw caught up to the fight. He was possibly the tallest man Clarke had even seen, and the spiralling tattoos that covered him did nothing to make him any less intimidating. He launched in, immediately aiming for Lexa’s legs and tried to sweep them out from underneath her. Lexa leaped, using the power to collide with Indra and push her down, taking the opportunity to turn to the man and engage with him. Lexa fought a battle on two fronts, using both stakes to strike and block and strike again with both attacking ‘Strigio’. She never let either of them out her sight, never leaving any of the body exposed and moving quicker that Clarke thought humanly possible. A thousand thoughts must rush through the Commander’s mind every second, predicting her opponents moves whilst planning her own attack on a matter of milliseconds. 

Eventually, she managed into slide Indra’s legs with her feet, knocking her over. She gave the other warrior no time to recover before stabbing where her heart should’ve been. If it weren’t for the the blunt blade and Indra’s protective gear, she would’ve been dead. No question. Instead, she just rolled out from under Lexa and sauntered out the way of the still ongoing battle. Clarke didn’t miss the look of... pride maybe, as she walked away. 

Lexa twisted just in time to meet the other Guardian’s blade, pushing it back with one stake and pushing up with her legs. She kicked out and her foot collided with his head. He stumbled before charging back, meeting Lexa’s stake with his blade once again. They danced around each other, blades meeting and fists colliding with all their strength for what felt like hours. It was, in fact, only a minute before Lexa dispatched the beaten Guardian with one final slash of the stake in his heart. 

Lexa didn’t have time to recover, though. Roan, who had been viciously smiling as he watched the performance, had finally reached Clarke whilst Lexa had been finishing the other one off. He yanked her up from the ground, and though she struggled against Roan’s huge hands that grabbed at her, she was no match for his strength. He was a unmoving mountain against her. She called out to Lexa, who swivelled around in a blur. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed the situation in a matter of microseconds and, with a subtle quirk of her left eyebrow to Clarke, she dove for Roan. 

Clarke pushed to the right, managing to squirm out of Roans grip just enough so she wasn’t in Lexa’s direct line of fire. Lexa shot forward, her stakes poised for battle. Roan, surprised by the coordinated response from the pair, dodged to the side - right into Lexa’s trap. She kicked out, enough to make Roan release his grip on Clarke. 

“Get behind me. Now!” Lexa shouted, and Clarke obeyed, scrambling towards her. Before Clarke even reached behind her Guardian though, Lexa attacked again. She spun, stakes flashing in a haze as they slashed towards Roan. Whereas the other two Guardians had possessed blunt weapons to do no permanent damage to Lexa, Roan’s spear was sharp and weighted and he did not hold back his power when striking at Lexa. But neither did Lexa. If Clarke knew any better, she would’ve thought they were actually trying to kill each other. 

They fought, but Lexa was tiring. Not that most people would notice it, but Clarke could notice the slight crease in between her eyebrows as she forced herself to move just as quick as before despite the burning in her muscles. Roan had the advantage, there was no doubt. It became even clearer when a blow landed directly on Lexa’s shin, knocking her down. She fell to the side, her head hitting the hard floor and drawing blood just above her eyebrow. This only fired up Lexa more. 

Roan advanced, aiming his spear directly over Lexa’s heart. Clarke felt her breath get stuck in her throat. Roan raised his arm to finish her off. Clarke could barely watch as he inhaled, ready to deliver the final blow. And then he fell. 

Lexa, who had baited Roan towards her, had warped her legs to flip Roan, her legs connecting with his in a sweeping movement as she twisted her entire body. He fell as Lexa gracefully pushed herself up. 

She stepped back, relaxing into her stance more. She slowly raised her stakes up, points facing Roan. She inhaled, exhaled. Then she struck. 

The silver stakes became a blur in her hands as her arms whirled in attack. Her feet barely touched the ground as she advanced on Roan, pushing him back. Roan tried to counter, thrusting his spear directly at Lexa’s torso, when Lexa dropped on of her stakes and grasped his spear, using his own momentum to rip the spear out of his hands whilst smacking his other hand to release his grip with her stake and send him tumbling forward. With the brunt of his spear, Lexa hit out, striking below his chin to send his head backwards, toppling the giant. He fell backwards, blood pouring from his nose and mouth. His head hit the floor with a blunt thud. 

Lexa stalked over to Roan, no hesitation at all before plunging the silver stake she still held directly into his heart. Or the padding over his heart. She stood directly over him for a second, chest rising and falling heavily but evenly before she extended a hand downwards to him. He took it, reluctantly. It was over. 

Clarke finally pushed herself off the ground, walking over to meet a panting Lexa. She could almost swear Lexa shot Roan a smirk before she turned away from him, breaking her blank warrior mask. Her eyes caught Clarke’s, and Clarke tried not to feel self conscious when Lexa gave her a once over to check for any signs of injuries. There was none, of course, apart from maybe slight bruising on her knees from dropping to the floor quickly. Clarke gave her a tight smile before she noticed Lexa’s gleaming viridescent eyes shift behind her. Clarke turned to see what she was looking at. 

A crowd had gathered of maybe sixty had gathered in a semi circle. At the forefront stood Indra, the other Guardian (who, Clarke noted almost proudly, was nursing a soon to be black eye), and Kane himself. The rest consisted of students - both Moroi and Dhampir - who had been on their way to breakfast and a few trainers that Clarke had suspected had been tipped off about the fight. The general mood that seemed to surround them was dazed amazement, apart from Indra and some of the Dhampir who just gave knowing smirks. Clarke couldn’t blame them. 

“Now, let’s get some breakfast,” was all Lexa offered, before tugging Clarke towards the canteen. They didn’t make it very far before some of the crowd descended on them, starting with Indra. She simply nodded, and offered Lexa her forearm. Lexa offered hers in return and clasped Indra’s in some strange handshake before Indra walked off. Then the students came like waves crashing on a shore. 

“Damn Lexa, kind of a show off, no?” Anya’s voice ripped over the crowd, complimented by a wolf whistle curtesy of Raven. Lexa only shook her head, letting a small smile cross her face. She knew she could do it, but having the first attack out of the way allowed her to release just a small bit of tension in her shoulders she hadn’t realised was there. At least until next time. 

Lincoln followed next, Bellamy at his side. He congratulated Lexa with a broad grin and a small embrace, an unusual display of affection from the Commander. Bellamy inclined his head too, but his expression was nothing short of bewilderment. Many other student shouted their congratulations from a distance whilst others just watched in awe. 

“That was only the firsts one, we’ve still got five more weeks of this,” Lexa pointed out. 

“Yeah, but it was a pretty impressive first one,” Clarke commented. Lexa flashed her a small grin. There had been a series of trail attacks throughout the week, but of the five Clarke had witnessed, they had all only included one Guardian Strigoi, nevermind three. 

They made their way over to the canteen as a group, meeting Octavia and Echo, and Wells and Tristan on there way in their. Wells offered his commendation to Lexa, who brushed it off like before. Still, Clarke couldn’t help but notice all the extra pairs of eyes on Heda as they entered the canteen. Word travelled fast. 

Lexa quietly excused her to go to the bathroom before queuing for food, Clarke following her as, although she just had her first test, the trial still continued. Always. Only when they were in the bright light of the bathroom did Clarke notice something was wrong. 

“Oh my god, Lexa, your head,” Clarke started. 

Lexa lifted her fingers up to above her eyebrow where a small but deep cut had been inflicted when she hit her head in the floor. When she moved her her fingers away, they came back stained ink black. Clarke’s eyes widened. 

“Is that... blood?” Clarke whispered. Lexa nodded. 

“What the f-“ 

“It’s fine, Clarke, I am fine. It’s only a small cut,” she shrugged, moving to face the mirrors and turned on the tap. 

“Lex, it’s black.”

“Yes.”

Clarke stared at her. 

“I am a natblida, a nightblood,” Lexa clarified. Clarke still stared at her. 

Lexa sighed, wetting her hands and reaching for a paper towel. “There’s only a few of us, all Dhampir, that are born with black blood. We are natblida,” she said the word with a slight accent, “the academy that I went to before the incident was for us natblida, where we trained to become the best Dhampir.”

“But why?”

“Because our black blood gives us enhanced speed and strength, even over Dhampirs. However, it does not give us the ability to fight well, this we must learn ourselves.”

“No, I mean how do you have black blood?”

Lexa began to wipe away the blood that trailed down the side of her face, “I get it from my mother.”

“So it’s inherited?”

“No, not exactly. My mother, she was...” Lexa hesitated, meeting Clarke’s eyes in the mirror. She seemed to search them before she whispered, “she was a Strigoi.”

“But Strigio can’t have children.” It was in every history book - the gift of immortality and near invulnerability was paid by the price of a darkened and damned soul as well as a body that may as well be dead. They couldn’t reproduce. 

“She was not a Strigio when she fell pregnant, but before she knew she was, she turned. When my father found out, he risked his life to rescue me the very day I was born so I would not be killed or turned when I was older. He did not make it out alive, but I did, the only sign of who I was running through my veins. I was taken to Polis Academy almost immediately after,” Lexa finished, her voice steady and her tone sober, factual. She had meticulously wiped away the majority of the ink blood away from her face but droplets continued to slowly trail down. 

Clarke was speechless, a rare occasion. She had no idea, not about Lexa or even about nightblood in general. Was this what it was like when someone first found out about Spirit? 

She couldn’t see Lexa’s face, her braids loose enough to cover her face after the fight. Instead of commenting, she simply reached her hand out, to tuck a few stands of hair behind Lexa’s ear before her fingers brushed across the cut in Lexa’s face. It vanished beneath them. 

“There, all better,” Clarke’s voice croaked. It would take time to process this, but it was too early in the morning to dwell on Lexa’s parentage or strange blood. “Come on, let’s get some breakfast.”

***

“Did you know?”

“Of course, everyone does. It was all people talked about when she arrived,” Octavia replied. They were queuing up for breakfast in the buzzing canteen, Clarke still perplexed by Lexa’s nightblood. 

“That’s was years before I came, and I just thought she fought like a god.”

“Yeah, well I’m an atheist, and there had be a reason why she can take down three guys that are twice her size,” this time it’s was Raven that replied, amused that Clarke was completely unaware of who her roommate was. 

“Do you know why she a nightbleeder?”

“Natblida,” Octavia corrected, “and no, there’s rumours in the Dhampir community, but nothing solid. We just know she came from some weird school in Europe for other Dhampirs like her, nothing more.” When Clarke still looked confused, Octavia continued, “some believe there are restless spirits that walk among us, and these spirits choose newborns to become their vessels, gifting them with black blood and other abilities. The strongest of these spirits is the spirit of Heda - who is declared from the strongest of all the natblidas. That’s Lexa, apparently. It’s just Dhampir folklore, but many still believe it and, Dhampirs especially, believe the spirit of Heda will save them. I don’t know what from, but apparently she will.”

“Like I said, I’m an atheist. There must be scientific reason, but I don’t know it,” Raven remarks, to which Octavia mock-gasped at. 

“Something the great Raven Reyes doesn’t know? The world must be ending,” Octavia laughed. Raven just swatted her. 

Clarke wasn’t aware if Lexa’s parentage was common knowledge or not. Apparently not. And Clarke wasn’t about to go spill her secrets, even if she had grown rather close to the two Moroi girls. 

They reached the front of the queue, each obtaining a cup of blood (or two in Clarke’s case - it had been a long day and it was only breakfast). They then joined the rest of the group at a circular table across the canteen. It was a strange arrangement, the Moroi sat at one table and their Novice guardians at the one next to them. They didn’t mix too much, but it was certainly less segregated than it had been over a week ago. 

The girls took their places at the Moroi table, Clarke throwing a nod in Lexa’s direction and Octavia flashing a quick smile at Lincoln. Lincoln smiled back, only to blush and look away quickly. Clarke suppressed a giggle at that. 

“There’s no point in these exams. I know how to light a candle and shit, I don’t need to know the theory behind control,” Bellamy grumbled, pouring over a text book, “look, I can prove it.” He reached his hand out and lightly fluttered his finger until a tiny flame appeared on the corner of the text book page. It eats away at the page, devouring it and leaving only ash behind. The flame quickly sparked out once it reached the end of the page, no other damage done. “See?”

“Wow, because we didn’t learn that when we were twelve,” Raven deadpanned, waving her hand slightly so the whole text book goes up in flames. 

Bellamy shouted, desperately trying to counteract Raven’s chaotic magic before she giggled and waved her hand again, the flames extinguishing and the book in perfect condition. 

“Try using flames without burning anything. We learned that when we were fourteen,” she laughed again as Bellamy scowled at her. They both had mid term tests coming up as they specialised in fire magic. No one else did, they just had an especially horrible tutor, much to everyone else’s delight. 

“At least you don’t have to do a six week exam,” Monty pointed out, casting a look over at the Dhampirs. They were engaged in their own conversation. 

“How are you getting along with you Novice, Bell?” Raven asked feigning innocence, earning her a swift kick form under the table. 

“Lincoln? He hasn’t really said much. Seems nice enough, a bit... different, but he hasn’t threatened to kill me as of yet,” he replied. 

“Mine’s a bitch, she tries to talk when I obviously don’t give a shit and she’s not even that good at sparring,” Murphy muttered. 

“Shh, they’re right there,” Monty scolded. 

“They have enhanced speed and strength, not hearing.”

 

***

 

“You told her why?” Anya asked, flicking a gaze over at the Moroi table. 

Her, Lexa, Lincoln, Echo, Tristan, Emori and Niylah were sat at their own table, quietly talking whilst they ate. It’s wasn’t their usual group, Lexa preferring to keep to herself as much as Anya and Lincoln would let her, but it had become part of the routine. Their Moroi sat together therefore so did they. 

Lexa didn’t mind the additions to the group and she was used to making conversation with lots of Dhamphirs. They looked up to her, unsurprisingly, for her black blood and her ability to fight as well as to lead them in some sense. She was Heda. 

Echo, Tristan, Emori and Niylah at least acted casual around her. Sometimes when Gaia joined them she could be a bit flustered, but she was a strong believer. Tristan and Niylah were nothing but respectful towards her, and even Echo was polite if a bit stand offish. Emori made it clear she thought it was all crap, but that was her opinion, and Lexa didn’t care. She’d rather prove herself than have people blindly follow her. 

“She asked, what could I say?” Lexa replied with a small shrug. 

“Um, how about, no?” Anya quipped, “it took you two years to tell me and all of two minutes for you to tell her.” 

The only people Lexa had ever told was Anya and Lincoln, after much persuasive from the brunette. Everyone at Polis Academy had known, but that was a given as they were all under the same circumstances. Lexa hadn’t wanted rumours of her parents or herself crashing around St Vlad’s, so when anyone had asked, she hadn’t answered. It was easier this way. 

But she couldn’t conceal it from Clarke. 

“She was going to find out anyway,” was the only explanation Lexa offered. Anya still looked sceptical. 

“Not necessarily. I’m just saying, be careful, Lexa. You don’t have to tell her anything just because she asks. She’s your charge and I know you feel a sense of duty, but she had no right to force you to tell her anything.”

“No, it wasn’t like that. She didn’t force me, she just asked. If she had forced me, we both know it would be her that would have a problem, not me,” Lexa cast her eyes down to the table. It was ridiculous for Anya to even think that. 

“Oh,” was all Anya replied. But there was something more to her voice, a hint of realisation. 

“What?”

“Ohhh,” Anya smiled. 

“What?” Lexa was getting annoyed now. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Anya shook her head, shooting Lexa a knowing look. Lexa glanced around the table to see everyone else was just as confused as she was. She looked at Anya again, who just raised one eyebrow, a playful grin plastered on her face. This only earned her a glare from Lexa.

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still planning a lot of chapters so comment below what characters & relationships you want to see more of! Also, the season six trailer holy fuck I’m so excited


	9. Little Warriors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Aden and Madi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is sort of short, but the next few chapters will be longer than usual

Lexa lifted her head when she heard thudding coming from the corner of the room. She dragged her eyes away from the book she had been reading and found Clarke at her desk, repeatedly banging her head against it. 

“Clarke? You okay there?” 

Clarke only groaned in response. 

They had spent to morning in relative silence, both going about their weekend duties. For Lexa, this meant relaxing in her only free time of the week, and for Clarke it meant homework. Hence the banging. 

“Remind me why I took chemistry?” She grumbled from the desk. 

“Don’t ask me,” Lexa smiled while she shook her head. She slid her legs off the bed and wondered over to the blonde, who had resigned from banging her head and now just slouched with her head flat on the desk. Lexa peered over her shoulder. 

“Its to do with condensation polymerisation and how the molecules form stronger intermolecular forces,” Lexa offered. Clarke’s head lifted and her eyes squinted up at Lexa. 

“How do you even know that?”

Lexa only shrugged. “I follow you to class, I may as well listen in it too.”

Clarke only stared at her. She hadn’t realise Lexa even listened to the Moroi tutor, never mind understood what she was teaching. Hell, Clarke barely understood it and she actually had to know it. 

“Come on, you need to get out or at least get dressed,” Lexa flicked Clarke’s knotted hair over her face to prove a point, “you’re not going to do you’re homework to a good standard if you’re not in the mood so you may as well leave it for now. And you can’t wallow inside all day just because you don’t have any obligations to go out.”

“Yes I can. That’s exactly what I was planning to do.”

Lexa only sighed playfully, tugging again on Clarke’s sunshine hair, glowing under the dim desk light. 

Finally, Clarke looked back up at her, “fine, what do you suggest we do, since me leaving also requires you leaving.”

“I have an idea, if you don’t mind. It’s just something I do some weekends, and it’s...” Lexa grasped for the right word, “entertaining.”

“Let’s go then.”

***

Finally dressed and somewhat presentable, Clarke followed Lexa out of the dorms and turned left across campus. The sun had long since set, the curved moon blurred in the sky. Clarke, despite being at the academy for a month now, had yet to go in this direction. She knew the junior dorms and classrooms were over this side of the grounds, but that was it. 

A soft amber glow dimly illuminated the colourful block buildings across the field. As the pair approached, the sound of playful shrieking and screaming floated towards them. Clarke could make out silhouettes across the field, darting and jumping around. A collective gasp rose up as a small coruscate of flames flickered into the air, flooding the field in scarlet light. The children continued to play, basking in the fire light underneath the midnight sky. 

Clarke glanced over to Lexa to ask her what exactly they were doing here when she saw Lexa’s face break into a wide smile, the flames dancing in her eyes. That alone made Clarke almost stumble in shock - she had been around Lexa for the past two weeks and had only ever seen Lexa’s lips curve slightly upwards, never a full, toothy grin. And then she spotted a figure running towards them, the object of Lexa’s loose smile. 

A boy of about twelve ran up to them and wrestled Lexa in a quick but tight hug. Lexa reached up to ruffle his sandy hair. 

“Hey, my little warrior, how are you?”

The boy’s smile deepened at her nickname for him, “I’m good, I just didn’t realise you were coming this weekend.”

“Neither did I, it was a last minute decision,” she turned to Clarke, gesturing at the princess, “and this is my charge for my trial, Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is Aden.”

The boy’s mouth fell open as Clarke gave him a small wave, and he almost toppled over when he swiftly bent over in a low bow. This made Clarke laugh more. 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she quickly corrected, “It’s nice to meet you, Aden.”

The boy briskly recovered, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. He was almost the same height at Clarke, his blond hair cropped short and cheeks still full and round. He was thin but muscles were still pronounced on his arms and across his shoulders. Definitely a Dhampir, Clarke concluded. 

“Come on, let’s get going. Go inform Titus I’m here and then gather up the others. I’ll set up,” Lexa directed the boy, who sprinted away immediate with a low nod towards both girls. Lexa began making her way over to the small gym, Clarke trailing after her. 

“Who was that?”

“Aden? He’s a natblida that should’ve gone to Polis but came here instead. I’ve been helping to train him and a few others for the past couple years at the weekend. He’s a sweet kid, strong yet obedient. Compassionate. He’ll make a good Dhampir, and an even better Heda when I die.”

Clarke blinked. She said it so calmly that the blonde almost missed it. 

“What?”

Lexa shrugged. “I won’t be Heda forever, Clarke. When I die, that title shall be passed on and it’s my responsibility to make sure it’s passed on to someone who’s ready and worthy. If I am to be a Guardian for a royal, it’s likely I will die young and Aden will take over soon after,” again, she said it so rationally and straightforward like it was obvious, like she didn’t just casually refer to her own demise. It sent a crack through Clarke’s heart. “Anyway, let’s get to the gym before we have a mob of little Dhampirs after us.”

They entered the junior gym, looking more like an elementary school sports hall than anything. It’s turquoise taraflex floor was covered in black sponge mats in odd places, completed with ropes hanging from the ceiling and boxing bags in one corner. Fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling, illuminating every corner harshly. 

Already, a small group of junior novices had gathered in the centre of the hall, eagerly awaiting a lesson despite it being a Saturday morning. The group all turned towards the girls when they entered. The Novices swept into low bows. Clarke was about to tell them to stand up when it hit her that they were not bowing at her, but rather Lexa. The Commander. Their Heda. 

At the edge of the hall, another group of children sat on a long wooden bench. A cacophonous noise surrounded them as they chatted excitedly between themselves, but they were not dressed in the same black entire as the other littler Dhampirs, wearing casual clothes instead. The cynosure of the group was a small brunette who sat gesturing widely whilst attempting to braid another’s hair. 

“The young Moroi come to watch us sometimes. They don’t train, but sometimes thyme join in the warm up games. You can go sit with them if you want, or you can come over with me,” Lexa shot Clarke a sly smile before continuing, “if you think you can keep up with a bunch of kids.”

“Easily,” Clarke lied, “But I wouldn’t want to out shine any of them, of course. I’ll go join the little Moroi, maybe one of them will braid my hair,” she laughed. 

With a last huff of a small laugh, Lexa strode over to the group in the centre of the hall, and Clarke steered off in the other direction to meet the junior Moroi. 

Lexa was greeted with overwhelmingly excited chatter, the ebullient kids dying to share any news of their training with their Heda. She hadn’t visited in three weeks, and now she felt a small pang of guilt shoot through her at neglecting her duties. She had missed her little Dhampirs. 

“ _Geda raun, goufas, _” Lexa eventually said in the arcane language, her voice loud and clear, yet the hint of a smile still playing on her face. Trigedasleng was rarely used, especially in a mixed academy like St Vladimir’s, but Lexa always held a fondness for it - the nostalgic words of her Polis memories and life as Heda. They all rushed to sit in front of her, eyes gazing up and hanging on to every word that left her lips. Aden came jogging in through the doors, carrying long wooden sticks, most of which were taller than the junior novices.__

__“Pair up and start your warm ups, remember your footwork. And please, watch where the other end of your bō is, we don’t want a repeat of last time’s black eye,” she warned, her authoritative tone doing nothing to hide the slight tinge of amusement that sang in her voice. They all stood, rushing to grab a bō or grab a friend._ _

__A warmth spread throughout Lexa, a small ember in her core. For once, she allowed herself to loosen, feel free and comfortable. She was in her element. She did not hold back the smile that played on her lips or the amusement she felt rise. Nor did she scold herself for the rising emotions that she could only describe as love - or at least care and protectiveness - she held for her little warriors. She couldn’t help the sense of duty she felt to train and care for the junior novices like she had been trained at Polis. It was her responsibility as Heda to ensure the future of the Dhampir race, even if it wasn’t official. But it was more than that. They reminded her that there was more to life than surviving or protecting, even if it was through the silly games they played at the end of each session._ _

__Lexa weaved in and out of the pairs, correcting stances or grips, praising aim and encouraging the novices. She didn’t miss the way their eyes lit up at the praise, or the way the eyebrows scrunched in determination as she walked near. Aden in particular puffed up his chest almost comically when she commented on his improved strikes, despite him knowing full well he was the best in the class._ _

__She glanced over to where Clarke had disappeared to. She was surprised to find that she had held her word, sat on the bench in the middle of the group of ten or so Moroi girls. The brunette from before sat crossed legged in between Clarke’s knees, Clarke weaving her hair into small braids that fell to join the rest of the locks. Clarke was talking as she braided, the other girls listening intently to her every word. She was telling a story, Lexa could tell, her face lighting up as she remembered another detail after another. At one point, she stuck her tongue out, causing the group to erupt into giggles, one falling of the edge of the bench. Lexa laughed to herself, choosing to blatantly ignore the glowing feeling that spread through her again._ _

__***_ _

__“And then he slipped in the puddle and sprained his ankle, so I got out of dance lessons for two months,” Clarke laughed, recounting the time she has misused the little water magic she had to avoid ballroom dance practice ahead of the Unity Day Ball when she was twelve. She had found her scheme hilarious at the time, though her mother was seething when she discovered the truth. Her father had given her a stern look before throwing her a wink behind her mother’s back, forever encouraging her mischievous side. It was safe the say the Moroi girls around her agreed with him too, one keeling over in laughter so much she actually fell off the bench, setting off another chain reaction of giggles._ _

__The girl who sat patiently in front of her - Madi, Clarke had learnt - tried desperately not to allow her laughter to move her head as to not mess up Clarke’s work._ _

__“What about you girls? You got any stories of your powers? You must be at the age where some of you start specialising, right?” For a Moroi, specialising in a magic was like going through puberty. Although each of them possessed a tiny bit of each magic, one element became prominent in their early teenage years. It was embarrassing for Clarke when she didn’t specialise - especially when every one of her friends had asked and adults kept patronising her when she told them she hadn’t yet. Little did adolescent Clarke know she had specialised, just not in the four main elements. Spirit was still largely unheard of and it took years for an expert to finally suggest to her father what might be the case._ _

__“Charlotte once used her air to jump of the roof,” one of the girl piped up, sending a roseate blush through one of the girls cheeks._ _

__“I floated down easy enough but it was scary,” the small blonde admitted, grinning at Clarke’s amused approval._ _

__“Madi! Tell her what you can do!” Another girl shouted. All heads swivelled towards the small girl sat on the dusty floor. She shot an irritated look at the girl who had suggested it, but twisted to face the group anyway. When Clarke nodded in her direction, the petite brunette sighed before she she spoke._ _

__“I can... alter people’s moods,” she revealed. Before Clarke could enquire further, a shout came from across the hall._ _

__“We’re gonna play shophona, if any of you would like to join,” Lexa called, waving the junior Moroi over. At once, the girls sprang to their feet and darted over, grabbing ribbons of crimson or navy and timing them around their wrists. Clarke wasn’t familiar with the game, but the buzz that emanated from the kids told her it was a recurring yet highly anticipated event. Clarke smirked to herself at the sight of Lexa, stoic Commander with no emotions, competitively leap out of reach from one of the Novices and bait him to follow her whilst she shot her hand out to steel his ribbon. Clarke knew if any one of the older Dhampirs witnessed her dance of triumph she’d be mortified, but it only widened Clarke’s smile._ _

__The brunette in front of Clarke remained when all her friends left, however. She seemed to sit rigidly after her confession, her small lips curving slightly downwards._ _

__“Alter moods? How so?” Clarke questioned, remembering the surprising admission after her brief distraction. Her heart raced at a thought that flew threw her head, but she did not let herself hold onto it._ _

__“It’s complicated. I can sense, in a way, people’s moods and overall personalities sometimes. And sometimes, just sometimes, I can,” she searched hesitantly for the right word, “...replace emotions in people. It usually helps if that person wants their emotion to be changed, and it’s only very temporary, but I can do it sometimes. Other people are really stubborn, though.” The girl played with her thumbs, eyes not lifting away from the teal floor._ _

__“How can you sense someone’s emotions?”_ _

__The girl huffed, hiding her fear between a facade of reluctance, “if I concentrate, I can see colours around people. Sort of like swirls of water paint, like-“_ _

__“Auras.”_ _

__The girl’s head shot up._ _

__“Yeah, exactly.”_ _

__Clarke felt her heart physically leap up her throat, thrumming against her rib cage. She could barely think yet the dots were connecting deep in her mind._ _

__“Madi, have you specialised yet?”_ _

__The girl shook her head, eyebrows creased in confusion at Clarke’s capricious switch from light banter to stone seriousness._ _

__“Have you...” Clarke inhaled deeply, “have you heard of the rare element called Spirit?”_ _

__***_ _

__When Lexa had finished with the training, Clarke was not ready to leave. Lexa had been mindful not to lengthen the session, not wanting to Clarke to become bored because Lexa dragged her to play with kids. Clarke was exactly the opposite, though._ _

__She had been in deep discussion with the little Moroi for over an hour now, and Lexa had even witnessed the blonde hold her hands across their laps. Later, Lexa understood the emotional connection between the two girls, Clarke’s fierce protectiveness emerging immediately for the girl. Still, when it was time to leave, Clarke could hardly say goodbye._ _

__“I’ll come back next weekend, and we can begin to train. I’ll ask Jackson if he’d be willing to come too, and I’d doubt he would turn down the opportunity.”_ _

__The girl only nodded, before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Clarke’s middle. A muffled “thank you,” followed soon, and she stepped back with a beaming grin._ _

__“At least now I know I’ve specialised. I thought it would feel different, though.”_ _

__“It took me years to realise. Don’t worry, we’ll get the hang of it together. You teach me Auras if I try to teach you healing?”_ _

__“Definitely.”_ _

__They hugged once more before separating as a crowd of her friends rushed forwards, dying to know what the two girls had been talking about. As Clarke followed Lexa out the gym, a small wave of sadness washed over her at the thought of what Madi would have to go through, like her. And she vowed that she would find a way to use Spirit without her demons crashing through her, even if she did seem to have a grip for now._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a lot of ideas, and originally I was planning on this being 20 chapters but now I’m thinking more around 25-30. However, I also have a lot of ideas to extend it to maybe even 40, so I was wondering what you guys want. Would you prefer it to be 25-30 or 40-50 chapters or maybe I make this 25 chapters and write a sequel to this series? Comment below because I’m struggling but I have the next 10-15 chapters already planned out so that won’t change x


	10. Little update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I haven’t updated in a little under a month and I owe you guys an explanation...

Hey, so you might have noticed that I haven’t updated in a while and for real, I’m very sorry. Somethings come up which means I don’t have a lot of time to write. I fully intend to finish this story how I planned, however just to let you all know I won’t be updating for the next month or so. I should get everything sorted and be back to a regular schedule after, at the very most, two months. Thank you for understanding and for reading so far x

-G

 

Ps: I’m planning on editing and adding to previous chapters, so after the next update I would recommend re reading just in case!


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